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ON TODAY'S EPISODE
Am I A Jerk For Refusing to Hang Out with My Friends Because I Always End Up Paying?
Here's the deal, I'm 28 years old, live alone, and pay my expenses on time, but lately, money has been scarce.
I used to accept my friends' Sarah, Mike, and Jake, frequent requests to hang out because, well, it's pleasant to relax with your group, isn't it?
This is where the problem lies, though. It seems like I'm usually the one paying for our outings, whether it's for dinner, cocktails, or something more informal. I don't mind helping out or filling in for someone once in a while, but this has started to happen frequently. They either expect I'll take care of it, "forget" their wallets, or say they'll Venmo me later—which, spoiler alert: they never do.
We went out to supper a few weeks ago, and it was the final straw. Whether they were aware of my financial struggles or not, they invited me. They bought appetizers, beverages, and desserts like it was their final meal when we went to this lovely restaurant. When we were done eating, Everyone just sat there looking at the bill awkwardly when it arrived. Who had to step in, you ask?
I didn't want to make a scene, so I paid, although I felt a little bitter afterwards. They dismissed it when I politely brought it up later, claiming that I'm "better off" financially (which is untrue) or that it's not a huge concern.
Recently, they have been requesting to see me again, but I have been turning them down. I don't want to feel like the group's "bank" or have to keep paying for everything. They accuse me of being stingy or not wanting to spend time with them, even though I tried to convey how I felt.
Am I a jerk for refusing and putting my financial Boundaries first, even if it means putting them out of my reach? Advice is required.
N/B: "True life story. These stories are not mine; credit goes to their original owners. Your insights and advice can help us all learn from each other."
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Love you all.....until the next episode!!