Low self-esteem is the feeling of having low confidence or a lack of confidence mixed with feelings of unworthiness, incompetence and worthlessness.
I bet you that is not a good state of the mind neither is it healthy. People with low self-esteem often become easy targets to bullies. They feel worthless and not good enough even when they're doing their very best.
I can personally relate to this cos there was a point in my life when I suffered from this mental disease. Yeah, low self-esteem is an unhealthy state of the mind often caused by factors like family backgrounds, negative parenting styles, emotional abuse from loved ones, poor academic performance and a lot more.
Statistics have shown that the major leading factor of ow self- esteem comes from the home. This relates to how parents or guardians raise their kids or wards. ”Do you talk down to your child for every slightest mistake?” ”Do you as a mom,dad, uncle or aunt in charge of a child emotionally abuse that child under your care by telling them that they won't amount to anything?”
If your answers to both questions above is a yes, then I'm pretty sure that your child might be suffering from low self-esteem.
I recall watching a movie where a mom was emotionally abusing her son because she got pregnant out of wedlock and the child's father abandoned her and the baby. To crown it all, she was disowned by her own family and sent packing out of her father's house.
She suffered alone with little to eat during pregnancy and childbirth was also difficult. She could no longer continue her education and she hated the child. For this, she neglected the boy and whenever this little boy came to seek motherly attention, affection and care, she would scream hateful words at him. She went far to tell this little boy that he ruined her life. That boy grew up not understanding a mother's love. He hated women generally and he suffered from low self-esteem.
The above story is a clear example of how one can become a victim of low self-esteem. No one is born with it. It is a trait that is developed over time but its consequences are lasting if necessary help is not gotten.
Like I mentioned earlier, I suffered from low self-esteem and my case was due to the environment. I grew up in what you would call ”a slum”. Virtually everyone never amounted to anything significant but I knew deep down that I was meant for great things but at that young age, I could not process anything. So I lived like that that for a few years until I discovered what was wrong and got the help I needed.
People with low self-esteem find it hard to relate with their peers. They also find it hard to accept criticism and they are also socially withdrawn. Most times, this behaviour is mistaken for introvertedness but it's not.
Overcoming low self-esteem
One major key to overcoming low self-esteem is to fight hard. I'm not talking about using the fists or punching anyone. The fight I am referring to is the battle of the mind. The mind is a battlefield where all sorts of thoughts vie for entrance.
There is need to realize that one will not go far with a low self-esteem mentality and so the need to fight hard. You intentionally battle those negatives with positives. At first, you might not see any improvement but keep at it and before long you will begin to see good changes.
Reading good mentoring books can help as well. I remember reading a book titled The power of positive thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. That book was a powerful game changer for me. I read and re-read that book until I could feel it sinking in.
The next thing I did was to cut off from every negative circle. Those so called friends who look down on me because of their affluent backgrounds were cut off. I learnt to attach to people with a vision driven mindset instead. I still do that till date. Once I get a whiff of someone trying to put me down, that's a red flag I don't ignore. I'll do my best to minimize my association to such a person.
Lastly, I understood that even though I grew up in the slum, I didn't belong there. My background could not keep me on the ground and I knew that I could make a change. This shift in understanding works like magic. It helps you see the bigger picture rather than a short term picture.
These were some practical steps I took in overcoming low self-esteem. Today when people tell me ”wow, I love your confidence”. I smile knowingly to myself cos they don't know what I had to go through to become the confident me that they now see.
Thank you all for reading. This is my entry to the #februaryinleo initiative for day2.
Images used are mine.
Posted Using INLEO
Low self-esteem is one of the things someone is not supposed to experience, like you said it at times from the upbringing.
Thank God you overcame it.
Yes o I'm glad that I overcome
.
The story in your write up is touchy I also agree with this statement you made" No one is born with low self esteem. It is a trait that is developed over time but its consequences are lasting if necessary help is not gotten."
Thank
Yes that's right.
Thanks for stopping by
It's really sad that some parents are guilty of being the source of their kid's low self esteem. They have failed in their duties in raising confident, capable and independent individuals.
It's really a pity what that child suffered in the hands of his mother. It wasn't his fault that he was born, so why put the blame on him.
The impact of low self esteem is much - depression, anxiety, even self-loathing. I don't wish this for anyone.
I don't wish this for anyone as well o. May God grant parents the wisdom to raise independent and courageous kids.
I was moved by the movie you shared. Situations like that are what can cause low self-esteem to anybody. You rightly pointed, words parents or guardians say to their wards matter. I remember a time when most parents were cautioned where I was, about the nature of words they speak to their children.
But yeah, despite it all, a person has the responsibility to look beyond their past and make something better of their lives. And that starts with acknowledging they were more than where they come from or what people say.
This so true. I hope those parents guilty of such get the truth on time.
Thanks for stopping by 🌺
Yeah, I hope they really do.
You're welcome!
I am glad you overcame.
Yes me too. Thanks for reading
You are welcome
Congratulations @beckyroyal! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPCheck out our last posts: