A few days ago I was scrolling on Tiktok just about a few minutes past midnight. I was finding it extremely difficult to sleep which was very unusual since my sleeping abilities are unrivaled. As I was busy doing nothing productive that night I stumbled on a content that almost made me choke on my own laughter, it was an old musical video of my favorite children gospel singers- Heavenly Kingdom Kids ( HEKK) dancing like their lives depended on it. After watching the entire video, a thought just flashed into my head " How did I ever find this stuff amusing as a kid" . Back in the day I would beg my mother to get their latest CD plates whenever they released a new project but look at me now wondering why I was madly in love with their work and finding it completely childish now. Still unable to get some shut eye I continued only to meet a show I loved as a young lad- Power rangers: SPD and I just concluded that the algorithm wanted nostalgia to take over but I was filled with something else instead- Cringe. All this experience trickles down to the prompt for the week.
Human beings have accepted change as a part of their nature. It is downright impossible for an individual to keep to the same practices, beliefs or priorities as he/she is confronted by various experiences and tries to adapt to life on general. From the stage of childhood, there are a lot of characteristics we exhibit which are primarily dependent on our limited point of views about life. But as we grow older, there are noticeable shifts from our perspectives. We either cut down on some behaviors deemed as unnecessary, evolve with them or completely dropping them to embrace a makeover of our personal values. I know for a fact that
I am not the same person I was 5/6 years ago. There were a lot of things I did then that when I look back to those periods I sometimes wonder if I was under some kind of spell or straight up dumb. I just concluded I didn't know any better and with time I have morphed from the pain in the behind I was back then to a tolerable adult.
Among all the irregularities I did when I was younger, the one that pains me the most was starving myself when I am angry. This is behaviour I find very repulsive now and is probably the reason with the height of a 10 year old with manly features. Anytime I am scolded for doing something wrong, disciplined for bad behavior or just straight up annoyed by parents, I am automatically skipping out on dinner. It was so bad that it got to a point I won't eat until my mother sweet talks me into eating the next day or even two days. Reminiscing over that period makes me wish I own a time machine so I can go in time and smack the younger version of myself upside the head for contributing to why I only have three strands of hair under my jaw.
I was also a very picky eater. I don't eat any form of fufu and soup especially okro, beans were a hell no and I hated trying new meals. It took me a while and a change of location to actually give them a try and falling in love. One time my aunt visited the family after nearly a five years from her last. Aunt Theresa saw me molding my akpu to scoop up the Royal soup ( egusi) and was completely shocked, she was so used to seeing me reject native meals that my new found love for them rocked her to the core. Now as a boy my food options were limited , missing out on a lot of delicacies like fish and looking back now I am filled with rage for being my own enemy .
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There are a lot of things I still do that deep down I know are bad for me but my love for them still holds me back from transcending them. An example would be the fact that I eat lying down. I don't know if I can stop it and I doubt I will but if by any chance the future me finds it repulsive, I intend to enjoy it till that day presents itself.