My most Embarrassing moment that looks humiliating in my memory took place during my first public speaking event when I was in the university.I had always been cautious when it comes to facing an audience, but I resolved to confront my fear of public speaking when the time came for me to make a research presentation to a big class. Unfortunately, that hope was not the case back then, and the experience turned out to be a more practical lesson on how being exposed is not always a bad thing in one’s development.
The presentation commenced on a good note if I may say so.Weeknearly or so, I have worked hard and prepared, practiced my presentation and ensured that the slides did not have too much or too little information. However, the moment I stepped on the podium and looked towards the audience filled with hundreds of people looking at me, I was paralyzed.
I fumbled with some papers and my instinctive thoughts escaped me. I was trying to recall how things were and the thought made it even worse. Even my hands were trembling, the pumping of my heart intensified, and my face burned up. I heard some people stifling their laughter in the audience, and it was as if every single person in that room was paying attention to me. It was a cartilage depressive feeling, one that was everlasting.
On top of that, I also accidentally pressed the remote for the wrong slide and my whole presentation got messed up. I attempted to fix it but the fix made things worse. In the end, I resolved to simply run over the rest of the presentation. I allowed myself to miss important details, rushed through the ending, and sat down, very ashamed and humiliated in the end. As if this was not enough, humiliating the whole class was also worse, for it seemed to me that I failed even in front of myself.
To be fair, I was unable to stop from replaying the said event in my head. It was disheartening and I began to doubt everything starting from my preparations to the capacity to work under pressure. Nevertheless, as it is always the case, with time, the perspectives on the events shifted. I was just embarrassed at the time but later came to the conclusion that this was a crucial moment, conducive to a shift. I had already challenged my fear of being in front of an audience and while it did not go as well as I would have liked, I survived. I had also understood the significance of preparation, routine even when faced with challenges, and that things do not have to be perfect.
So, I took matters into my own hands and worked on my deficits. I spoke to my lecturer about my concerns, and told him that there are such times in every person's life, and what is important is to learn from it. I practiced even more, and not only in terms of the speech material. I tackled the issue of anxiety as well. I signed up for a public speaking course, which would allow me to have an opportunity to speak in a friendly low pressure setting. Little by little, I began to feel comfortable with them. To this day, I can say that I did not mind that there were things that I would do wrong, as it was inevitable in the process.
As for me, that humiliating incident marked an upward shift in my growth as a person. I came to understand that defeat is not the final judgment; it is only part of the process toward a final success. It made me tougher, taught me the value of being kind to myself, and the art of converting uneasiness into development. Now, whenever I reflect on that moment, I do not experience embarrassment. On the contrary, I am glad that I came out of it and that I picked valuable lessons from it and I became better.
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