Anger is something we all experience. No matter how calm or patient we think we are, there will always be moments that pushes us to the brim. But then, what really matters is how we handle it. I have learned, sometimes the hard way, that uncontrolled anger can lead to actions and words we end up regretting.
To be honest, I am someone who doesn't really know how to control his anger, especially when people deliberately or unknowingly try to get on my nerves. There was one incident from last year that stands out as a lesson I’ll never forget. It happened in my hostel at school. What happened was that on that particular day, I had a call with my mum that left me in a really bad mood. I came back to my room, and all I wanted was some quiet time to calm down. But one of my roommates, who sat opposite me, decided it was the perfect time to start talking to me. I wasn’t in the mood, so I told him to leave me alone. Instead of backing off and just let me be, he kept talking, and I felt like he wasn’t respecting my space.
I got angry and then i said some harsh words to him, and unfortunately, he misunderstood me. He thought I insulted his dad, and before I knew it, he attacked me. He punched me several times, and my head was swollen afterwards. I was furious, i just couldn’t let it go so I reported him to the hostel masters, knowing that the punishment for his actions could be very severe.
Later on, the school authorities got involved, and things escalated quickly. He was on the verge of getting suspended, which would have meant missing a whole academic year. At that point, I started to feel indifferent . Yes, I was hurt—both physically and emotionally—but was it worth derailing his education? We were so close to graduation and then I thought about how his parents would feel, how it would affect his future, and honestly, I started to feel guilty.
After some time , i pleaded for him, and thankfully, the case was resolved without any major consequences. But that experience taught me a huge lesson about anger. If I had just controlled my emotions and walked away, none of that would have happened. It was a wake-up call for me to find better ways to manage my anger.
Now, I’ve developed a few strategies that help me stay calm when I’m angry, and I’ll share them with you:
1.Stay quiet and don't respond
I’ve realized that the more I reply when I’m angry, the worse things get. Words said in the heat of the moment are often regrettable. So now, when I feel myself getting worked up, I just stay quiet. It’s not always easy because you feel like you need to defend yourself, but silence gives you time to think and breathe. Most times, I find that after a few minutes, I don’t get angry anymore and I I more at ease.
2.Walk Away
Walking away is one of the best things I’ve learned to do. Back then, if I had just taken a few minutes to calm down outside instead of confronting my roommate, things would’ve turned out differently. Now, whenever I see that i am actually starting to get frustrated and angry, i just try to stay away. I could just step out of the room or take a walk. Distancing myself actually helps me cool off and think clearly.
The last thing I have been doing is learning not to take everything to heart. I have realized that sometimes when I get angry, it is because I overthink what someone said or take it way too personally, even when they didn’t mean any harm. This most times lead to unnecessary arguments, and before I knew it, i would find myself lashing out. So now, I try to let things slide. I remind myself that not every comment deserves my energy or reaction. People will always talk—but it’s up to me to decide if their words are worth my peace of mind. Most times, it’s just not that deep, and I’ve found that letting it go has made my life so much calmer.
These are the steps i have being following to manage my anger better and just remain more calm and patient. I am actually still learning, but I know that every step I take towards controlling my emotions is worth it.
Thanks for reading.
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Some people don't just know how to read emotions. once I noticed that someone isn't in the mood for conversation, I let them be. People go through so much we don't have to force them into talking.
I feel for your roommate but he was also aggressive, what's too big for words to handle that he had to use his hands? Well, thank God it ended well