If, like a fairytale movie, it were possible to change, in a split second the things we didn't like about ourselves, that would be the most beautiful thing. It would be an open cheque, more like an opportunity to rewrite the pages of one's life and begin on a clean slate.
Despite the fact that a lot of us see ourselves as a masterpiece, deep down, there are things we do, and characters we manifest that we truly wished we could undo. Sometimes, even people with the strongest will power struggle to do away with habits that tie them down from becoming a better version of themselves. If effecting a change in behaviour were a walk in the park, then several people would never have to battle with traits that leave people's mouths agape when they eventually hear of it.
Change feels like a herculean task for humans. Those weaknesses or character traits we all hope to change had started off in one day, then became a habit that can't be broken, even when we realise it's a demon consuming us. We are eventually left with no option but to keep wishing we could stop, but the reality of doing away with it feels far-fetched.
For me, it's always been the fear of not reaching perfection, and believing that if it isn't perfect, it shouldn't be done. This is one thing I wish to change. As much as this may sound like a good thing, trust me, it isn't. There are a thousand reasons it's not a character worth keeping.
For one, this perfectionist tendency has made me slack in several areas. Things I should try my hands on, I shy away from, because I feel I'll end up not doing it well. In my teenage years, I learnt how to bake. Each day I went online, I saw breathtaking cake designs.Over here as a beginner, I was struggling, and my designs were not so good. I felt I should be able to do it as well as the ones I saw online,even when I was still a novice. Too bad, I wasn't perfect at fondant designs and this made me give up on baking. I told my mom I couldn't continue, simply because I felt my own designs were mediocre and not as good as the ones I saw. I gave up, and that was the end of it for baking.
As if that wasn't enough, I tried my hands on writing, some years after my study in the university. In my mind, I felt I was somewhat good in this regard and started writing. I needed some positive validation from a friend who was better off in writing. To my greatest surprise, he told me my writing wasn't good enough. That statement broke me and my pen alongside. I stopped writing and never wanted to give it a try. How could my work not be perfect? Since it wasn't perfect I told myself there was no need to do it.
I have a lot of ideas in my head, but my perfectionist nature has hindered me from trying them out because I'm always afraid I won't be able to get to the height of perfection. I've never believed in baby steps. Once I begin it, if it doesn't go perfect,I feel I have failed.
I'm sure there's a lot more I would have achieved in life, but the fear of not reaching perfection deters me from trying out new things. I admire greatness everyday,but get a little too afraid to try.
If I could drop these perfectionist tendencies and embrace the fact that baby steps are okay, and perfection would eventually come, I'm sure I would record a thousand feats in my life.
I think this habit is stoppable. You need more encouragement on the importance of taking steps, a journey of a thousand miles talk
Sincerely, I understand how this can rob one of beautiful things. It's more like the fear of failure. Perfection is a good thing and should be pursued by all means, but you need to understand that you don't have to be perfect at the first try. Perfection will come with consistent practice.
And that your writer friend, maybe they just wanted to challenge you to want to show him that you can be better, or they are just jealous; because I can see here that you write well.
Well, he may have wanted to challenge me to write well, but the manner the message was delivered killed the intent. By the way, thanks for the compliment.
Hmmm this is deep and heavy as well. Like you stated, it may seem a good character, but then it's really not. The perfectionist "mindset" is not really a good one because it robs you of everything you can start off little by little.
It's good to see you understood that and I believe it's the first step to making amends. I can relate to this to some extent, and it's not palatable because it degrades your mind rather than groom it.
I trust you'll be able to overcome this. See the good in every little thing you do as the momentary best in the world while striving for growth. And celebrate every little win or achievement.
I know a little of that feeling, you know it's something you ought to do but you are scared that if you do it, it might not be perfect and that's not the kind of image you want to build for yourself. It's even worse when you are someone people look up to.
But one thing you must know is before perfection there was an imperfection. What I mean is, before you hit mastery, you must have failed many times and then become that expert by learning from your mistakes.
Initially I was like what do you mean by that trait bad is something you want to change? but I get it now. If you are always focused on giving out the best only to the extent it keeps you from trying new things out, then something is wrong.
But I think you can solve that by simply making it, perfection or die trying meaning, you either make it perfect or you won't give up trying until it becomes.
Thanks for sharing ma
Thank you for the input