What a gripping, earnest review. You've made me curious to read it. I think there's certainly a danger in locking away personal ambitions (particularly creative ones) for the sake of the kids as I've seen quite a few of those parents end up resenting their offspring.
I also think that increasingly, our society is angled towards polarity (even inside a single family) rather than unity. It's important to remember the good things a parent does since none are perfect and those too often get overlooked.
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You nailed it: these days, POLARITY is more common than family unity, it seems.
Therapists keep telling clients that forgiveness does not require reconciliation: that we can forgive but not allow our offenders to ever again be a part of our lives. REMOVE them.
Ohhh THANK YOU @honeydue! So often, the offended ones, the PTSD victims, have their own failings and flaws, and quite often, they are not above recrimination themselves, but they stand in judgment and uphold others to a much higher standard than they hold themselves. Because, #ego. Because, we are #blind to our own failings. I can look back to my younger days and see that I was a jerk, but at the time, I was totally entitled to my feelings. And that's another new buzzword: therapists saying you are #allowed to feel anger, allowed to set boundaries.
I was indoctrinated with Christian love and forgiveness, and the idea that God loves even the very worst, most depraved, most evil humans, and we all must love one another and see that we are all one and ....
Yeah....
Thanks again for reading and commenting!