I read this. It was compelling. Reminded me of @deirdyweirdy's stories about her own parents.
EXCEPT FOR YOUR BRILLIANCE, YOU ARE NOTHING LIKE THAT MOTHER!
Some parents can be truly awful, yet their kids forgive them and love them unconditionally
In your case, it seems to me, that it is the other way around. C's childhood was one of extreme neglect? Is that how C generally hands out compliments, by comparing you to terrible, minimally charming, mothers? I think I would have blocked her email. I am very angry about this!
They found their way to New York and tried to move in with the five kids who were trying to escape them.
I don't remember the book this way. Didn't the kids try to help them, but the parents refused? They preferred being homeless?
Have you read House Keeping? I just finished it. Similar story about transcience, and what it is, but we are privy to the child's thoughts. Very interesting! Hard to read, because the thinking is so, so so... Idk what it is. Not linear, like mine though. Deep! Insightful! Chimerical! I might read it again to get more in her head.
Happy New Year! I miss you in these parts! Maybe I'll write a freewrite to celebrate. They no longer come easy to me. It's depressing.
My middle child does acknowledge her childhood was one of privilege, and that I encouraged my kids and nurtured their talents and interests, and all was well, until college...
Never did I lie around sobbing "My kids keep me from my art!" (or writing)
Always, I celebrated their many talents and achievements, and I did not nag them or guilt trip them or punish them for the D- in Chemistry (my sister would ground her kids for a month for anything less than an A in any subject) .... I was much too easy on the kids ... which is the worst kind of parent (or one of the worst kinds).
"If you don't love my husband, you don't get to love our kids"
Well that's a whole other kettle of fish to fry (or dump into the ocean, never look back).
COOKING
I would love to inspire a post from you, Chef Owasco, about the priceless gift of COOKING ..
How food defines a family, a culture...
How Mary Walls was "allowed" to hate cooking, but to fail to feed her children.... no no no....
What possible good things about Mary Walls might my daughter have seen in this memoir? She never said.... and I cannot guess.
Why is that none of his doing? He's an very hatefilled person. But you have to love him anyway, or your grandchildren lose you?!! It's so warped Carol. I'm so sorry.
I remember seeing some good in Mary, in her intellect. And I think I found her charming, erudite. Again, much like @deirdyweirdy's parents. Scholars, readers, ingenious. I don't remember any specifics.
I tried to write a freewrite today, but nothing publishable came out. So disappointing! I have not been able to do it for a long time. Here's a tiny bit of what I wrote today:
Ohhhh but I love your freewrite - it reminds me of a Billy Collins poem!
David Demro has just published his second poetry book. This one:
Please keep writing!
You and I are in the same boat, somewhere at sea with no Muse communicating with us. Your Muse was always there for you in the past - lasso her, drag her back into your life!!!
Mine... my Muse is like my sisters and nieces, who get annoyed by me and give me the Silent Treatment. :)
Anywhere Imaginable by David Demro
I love both of those poems!!! Much much better than mine! Congrats to Demro for publishing. I'm sure it's a great book, I'll have to get it. He's a relative who values you.
I try pretty often, but it's like pulling teeth. Awful. And very strange, because I had no problem at all, astounded myself regularly, for a few years. Maybe it's hormonal.
No, no, not "much better" than your poems - it's precisely because yours are THAT GOOD that I thought of them!!!
This silencing of the Muse, this concerns me. Is it part of turning 60 (or more)?
Is it part of the Empty Nest syndrome?
May your voice come back, stronger than ever - Edgar and Elsie and all your fun, zany characters live on and await you being there to open the door. Usher them back onto the stage. We miss them!
Perhaps C feels guilty about having had a priviledged life, and has rewritten it to make her more comfortable, and more palatable to that creep she married. Poor thing. She is in his thrall. Poor kids, too. C is teaching them to reject mothers, so they are bound to do that to her, too. Hopefully she won't find some way to blame you for that.
Teaching their children that it's ok to banish family members who don't live up to their expectations -
Will it come back to bite them -
Thank you for your empathy and support, @owasco!!
Ironically, this middle child acknowledges that she was well cared for, indulged, supported, encouraged in every way, and yes, spoiled.
"Nice" parents are the worst kind.
A little deprivation and a lot of hard work go a long way toward building character.
Your Aunt Jane may have been on the harsh side, but what a great teacher she was, an host of so many happy lake outings!
haha Aunt Jane was very often red in the face pissed off and yelling about something. My father stopped speaking to her at some point, and for years. He wasn't the most placid person either, so they regularly got into really bad fights about small stuff. Her second husband was exceptionally annoying. Even my mother couldn't stand him. But she was generous and loyal, for her whole life. Just difficult because she was so volatile. We all walked on eggshells around both her and my father.
You aunt was not a spinster aunt, like mine - just childless - I got that wrong. Two husbands? How did I not see (or remember) that!
Is it just last-century families, or certain countries and cultures, e.g. India, Greece, Italy, anything Hispanic or Asian, that has family LOYALTY above all?
Is it just 21st C Americans who decree "My mom is toxic; I'm removing her from my life," and from her grandkids?
Another question.... how much have you traveled in Greece?
This wedding in July .... (check your email if you wanna know more).
If I go, I have to drive five hours or fly (which takes about as long!) to the nearest big airport, and from there, fly to Athens (or maybe to Rome, as one relative is doing, and from Rome to Athens).
Traveling to Greece takes roughly two days for me, each way.
The ceremony, reception, and beach day are all more than four hours from Athens.
Church (ceremony)
Ag. Nikolaou, Volos 382 21
Reception
Portaria, 370 11, Greece
Beach Day at Pelion
.... after the wedding, we all spend the day at Potistika
All this would be a lot just for me, not to mention my elderly mother, who would never say "That would be too much for me to endeavor to do." So, I not only have to fly to Greece, I have to make sure my dear old mum survives the flight too (how many different airports??) .... in the heat and humidity of July... and the $$$$ is not even the biggest concern.
I sent you an email