I decide to keep fasting, I decided since yesterday to keep thinking about you, it's a consequence that arises every time winter arrives, I evoke from you your thunderous laughter, your pronounced eyebrows and your slender walk. I worry maybe, and only maybe, how you remind me of me. However, every time I think you think of me, I choose to change my mind and remember when you were leaving, you told me that if I go on like this, I will only attract misfortune and loneliness.
I am terrified of that. My writings are bad, my verses mediocre and my readings tedious, my contemplating is elusive and my dreaming painful. I find no salvation in that which used to save me, I only find my will in seeing you again. Because, yes, I fear loneliness, I fear living without you, Diana. I fear being left alone, with my mediocrity as my concubine, there are already too many winters that only prepare me unhappiness at breakfast. I fear, my love, that there is no age that will come to me that I will find pleasant, I will only spend each decade trying to stop loving you in that decade and when I succeed, it will be a different decade, and so, as if it were running away from me, my mind will not be able to run away from the memory of your leaving.
Love you, who writes to you always and you never read, Ken.
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