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RE: A 5 hour conversation with my mother

in Cross Culture3 years ago

It's really good that your relationship with your mom has finally found its right way. You are really good at conversations, you manage to connect very well with a lot of people. And as I've told you before, I like the way you manage your posts because you can jump from one topic to another without being boring. I see that you have adopted a part of those traits from your mom and your grandfather

While I was reading your post I imagined me with my dad many years ago, when we used to go out he used to stop and talk to many people on the way, in fact he still does. Even though as a child I hated that because I just wanted to get home, now it's something I like about him, how he does so well talking to his friends and even to many strangers on the street. In my case I've tried to learn from him but taking it my style, sometimes I'm good at conversations even with people I'm just getting to know, but there are other times when I can't find topics of conversation so I try to escape quickly to avoid discomfort in the other person and in me xD

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I can relate. I used to be really shy because I cared a lot about how others feel. In western culture (especially English speaking cultures maybe) there is a lot of encouragement to "not care how other feel" and just do what makes you happy, but I always thought that if I am considerate towards people they will be more likely to be considerate towards me.

I think this is why I relate so much with Japan, although nowaadays I'm not really shy at all.

Now , I realize that a lot of people aren't bothered by me and may even be interested in me as long as I can calibrate the conversation towards them and avoid pushing them to think the same way as me. There is actually some way to relate to anyone, we just have to find the way for each person we encounter (...if they are worth the energy).

It's interesting to see how our feelings about our family members change as we get some new perspective. :-D