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RE: Becoming the role model I never had

in Cross Culture8 months ago

Man, I've been applying for all kinds of science research internships and various college stuff. It has been very emotionally taxing to write a personal essay. I've been self-reflecting and pouring my soul into it. I had to reflect on a lot of adversity and look at my progress. (I'm not very good at receiving compliments, and especially not good at giving myself credit.) I was accepted into one, and the validation in the pursuit of self-actualization was an emotional roller coaster.

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I love to see people working on themselves in any capacity. Sometimes it’s hard to know if the progress can be made by focusing on the present or if something needs to be fixed from the past.

I’ve worked on the present so much and some things were so stuck so I finally started to look at my past more. My fear of standing out is way deeper than I ever realized, and there is so much more anger than I imagined too.

I know you’ve been through a lot but it seems you are moving forward in a big way!! Congrats!

It hasn't come without an immense amount of work. The power of believing in the process is key. Something that has worked for me in general is to have a short, medium, and long term plan. (I mean this is a very loose sense. I'm not a planning type really.) The more distant in the future, the more fluid the plan can be, but the short term realistic stuff should be mostly rigid (stuff happens though I get it). I've had a lot of problems with self-confidence in the past. The short term plans add up for a cumulative incremental success where you eventually have to give yourself credit. Medium/long term keep directed in your short term goals.

There's some cosmic rule that I feel in my gut that for everyone who "receives" much, much is required. I am more confident than ever, but the cost of progress keeps getting higher. I hope you figure everything out man!

I get it! I sometimes attribute the fact that I have faced unusual struggles on the idea that I am here to do unusual things, and I’ve set very high standards from what I want out of life, so sometimes I’ve got to do more work than other people.

What you say about setting goals is totally true too. It’s the short term goals that matter. Thanks for the reminder!