To loose his father - to loose that strength
My friend lost his father 4 days back. He was in his seventies and was fine, and this happened all of a sudden at the evening. By the time they took him to hospital, it was all over. I got the message at 9 pm and unfortunately I had a critical call going on which finished by 11 pm and then I just closed everything, and went straight to their home. But they already took him for the funeral by then.
Being an elder son, he has got all the responsibility on his shoulder now. It's often said that, the elder son takes the role of the father for the joint family. For this reason, he has to follow lot of practices as well when the father is alive. The elder son will not cut hair or even shave on the same day as father. The elder son will not shave his head in his life time, only except when the father dies. He will never give his shoulder for anyone else's funeral. And there are quite a few others as well.
As I have shared in my earlier post, the entire extended family follows the rituals, but the elder son has the main role. He has to do several rituals for ten days as you can see. Today morning we joined him at the ritual place - a place at a nearby pond, where he went through these rituals. He has to cook the food and then do the offering to the father to feed him. It was a very sad moment and he broke upon and started crying like a child. After all, we all have that emotion towards our father.
The role of a father is definitely felt more by the elder child. Being the first child, I often see, fathers love the elder child most. And the very presence of the father gives that strength - whatever old he may be. As long as he is there, the responsibility is less. It's a great loss to my friend and the family. It was good that, he decided to quit his job and came back and stayed with the family since last few years. At least his father was able to spend his last life happily with them, especially his grand son. He was so happy few days back with the result of his grand son achieving more than 99.5 % in CBSE board that he ordered to distribute sweets for Rs 5000/- at the school. Some good moments......
I was asking my friend, how all of this happened suddenly, and he was telling, he was doing all right, and most likely a recent change in some drugs probably caused this, imbalance his chemicals. Before they realized, it all happened.
He definitely was a great soul. Personally I feel, those who die suddenly are great soul. He was a very jolly man, very soft spoken and always helpful for others. We have been friends since our college time and going to their home, is like being in our home. Whenever we go, he will call and ask about everything, offer snacks /tea. We could ask for anything we want, freely. We are definitely going to miss him a lot.
You will see the elder son in this outfit only once in his lifetime. If you see someone in this outfit, it must be that he lost his father and is doing the rituals being the elder one.
The ritual place is covered to be continued tomorrow and it will go on for ten days. And after that, the house will be painted fresh, and there will be a Prasad Seva - food from temple will come. First brahmins will be called in and offered with food, clothe, money and bless the family. Afterwards all the near and dear ones will be invited to come and accept the prasad. We have been trying to give all help that we can do in this difficult time. Hope this difficult time will pass on. May the soul rest in peace.
Some photographs above from that place - good to see there has been lot of development to this place.
Sorry to hear of your friend and his loss. That’s very difficult indeed! I don’t look forward to the day I lose my father, I hope it’s not for many more years but life is fickle and things happen unexpectedly. Prayers for him and his family!
I am sorry for his loss 🙏🏻.
My deep condolences to your friend and his family, what does the ritual of the eldest son stant for? How do it helps the soul of his father and the life of the living?
I come front a very diferent culture, so it is both mystical and enigmatic to me, i want to learn more of your culture.
Well, the eldest son has all the responsibility to do these rituals practiced from ages - it's believed the soul rest in peace, with all these rituals and the family will not be followed by the soul, making it free.
So is a ritual of letting go, of peace and help for a loved one that already passed. As to ressure the soul that the eldest song is safely on charge and he can go on willout worries?
Yes, the eldest son takes charge of the joint family from here. Even today, there are big families with more than 100 people and there has to be someone who drives that.
WOOOWWWWWW, 100?????????? And my grampa was "fruitfull" Having 9 kids.
Well upon my gramfather death all family did gather and we were close to 70, but each male song took its decendency as their center and each center drove away from the main tree, venezuela is not that close on family relationships...
Incredible, to handle a family so big, that is indeed a heavy burdem to carry.
There is a family near my native place where they all reside together even today - as far as I remember they have more than 140 members...😀
HOLY .... o,.o Wow, How do they rule such a huge group of people? Just HOW?
The rewards earned on this comment will go directly to the person sharing the post on Twitter as long as they are registered with @poshtoken. Sign up at https://hiveposh.com.
I always appreciate reading about the rituals of India through your personal stories @sanjeevm . I'm sorry for your friend's loss - it's not easy to lose a parent, and when it's sudden, it's even harder to cope with emotionally. I'm sure he will be missed.
I have a rule. When I lose someone amazing? We must celebrate the new life even more. And take extra time in their lives to help them.
Sending strength from me and my puppy dog. And much honor in following the traditional ways.
It's really hard to hear someone's father died. As the elder of the family now your friend has a lot of responsibilities on his shoulders. We all are not here to stay forever. Everyone has to go when the time comes. It's a good thing that you share all these things with us. We also really worry about this situation.
I appreciate that you let us know these traditions of your land
enjoy the weekendHello dear friend @sanjeevm I am very sorry for the loss of your friend.
Really sad to lose a loved one especially when it is unexpected. I hope God gives him the strength to bear the loss. Really disheartening.
Quite painful to loose a father. Being the first born, he must have felt it so hard. Happy his father was able to spend his last days with his family happily. Thanks for sharing with the community.
COMMENT
Hive Cross Culture's curation project.
• You will receive a percentage of the rewards from our curation post.
• And this post would be featured in our next weekly digest article.I am @starstrings01 and I've chosen this post for 50% curation in
Hive Cross culture is a community for conversation about culture. This can be national, local, community, or personal culture, subculture or your ideas about culture, language posts etc. We also invite and support bilingual posts, and are searching for ways to support and grow the local communities on Hive. Come join us in our discord chat if you are interested!
Father is a lot like a banyan tree on his head. He who loses this shadow knows what he has lost in his life! Anyway good luck to your friend. May he overcome this grief quickly!
Death is really unexpected, even a healthy person can die which no one will expect it to be. I still feel he was 70 and have lived most of his life.
You know sir, these days life has become too short. We see young people who not even started their career dies at very young age, like 20, 25 29 etc.
This is so sad sir. As long as we are alive, we should live our life to the fullest. Coz we never know when death comes.
Rip to the departed soul. My condolences 💐
Everyone has to die. It is very sad when someone's loved one dies. Parents, siblings, anyone dies. It hurts a lot.
I also regret the death of your friend's father. Everyone has to die one day, but the death of a parent makes a person weak.
I am very sorry to about your friend's father.
Rest In Peace
Congratulations @sanjeevm! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Your next target is to reach 4500 replies.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPCheck out the last post from @hivebuzz:
RIP.. I totally agree with you great souls die without giving any trouble.. May God give all the strength to the family. best regards
مجھے بہت زیادہ افسوس ہوا آپ کے دوست کا والد وفات پا چکا ہے