I am so with you on this....I've been there before too and came to the same conclusion. Feeling like you are on the edge and ready to jump, you become fearless and then you can take an ew turn...then When you have the chance to do something wild, you can find what your real fears are and then face them.
People I know always thinks I'm brave for my choices lol....I don't think they realize how many times I've been close to that edge, and how I made the choice to jump parcour style instead of suicide style because it was one or the other, and if I'm gonna jump, why not try to survive it and do something cool with it.
“Death smiles at us all. All a person can do is smile back.”