The Most Toxic Idea Promoted by the Spiritual Community

in Abundance Tribe5 years ago

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"Everything you seek in others is within yourself".

Probably you've seen a trillion memes and read this all over the place. But just because it's a widely spread idea doesn't mean it's true or the best thing you could live by. And I'm telling you this because I've been living on this for far too long.

Today I've had a really rough day trying to pull myself together. The owner of the house left on a trip about a week ago and I've been alone since then (in company of a dog and two kittens, but I am referring to the absence of other humans). I've been alone before and for extended periods of time (months even without any human contact) and there were painful moments such as the ones I've experienced today.

The thing is, when I interrupted my hermitage a few years ago it was to reconnect with people, to embrace community again and to stop hiding from fears. But it has been incredibly hard to do so and today I had a wake-up call regarding this heavily engrained idea which had become a serious limitation to do so.

"Everything you seek in others is within yourself".

Perhaps I've taken this too literally. I can agree that all that exists is within but if we observe what we can perceive with our exterior senses, it becomes obvious that all people are different, that each one has something to offer. Their originality, creativity, ways of showing love and the interactions they provide... I can't say that I can give that to myself the same way they give it to me!

Even in some small things such as the way they smile or a particular look in their eyes. How could I have been so arrogant to think that all of it was just me and that there was no one else out there? Worse of all, I have become so attached to this idea that every time I was beginning to form a relationship that showed the slightest dependency I would immediately retreat into my shell and say "it's all in me, I don't need that person".

So, no! Everything is NOT within yourself. Community is outside. Collaboration is outside. Empathy is within but it exists when you place yourself outside. The only way you practice these things is by stepping the fuck outside yourself!

Today I wondered: "why am I here alone? Why am I not interesting to anyone? Why doesn't anyone else care about the Earth and is here helping me restore the forest and fight the drought? Are we just a few stupid idiots trying to save the planet when it's obvious that we are outnumbered beyond solution?"

And then I thought about the several times I've had to team up with others on this quest. Sure, they didn't have the same ideas on how to do it, but part of collaborating is learning from each other and coming to a consensus. Instead of being tolerant, I would say: "everything I seek in them is within me, I can do this myself in the way I believe". And there I would go, waging mental war on society because I couldn't meet people who were on the same page as me.

So I've come to the conclusion that this idea is a comfort zone for those who don't dare and go out there to expose themselves to others. Unfortunately, none of us is perfect and we will say things that irritate others as well as they will do the same towards us. We will clash and confront, but we will also help and take care. We are not less spiritual for facing these "flaws", which are actually part of the beauty we have to offer to others.

I no longer want to continue feeling that I can't depend on anyone and that no one should depend of me because I am "sinning" in some way that will ruin my "perfect spiritual journey" of finding absolutely everything within. I want to be able to stick around through the good and the bad, to see other solutions other than retreating constantly to my shell where I feel safe and protected under the excuse of meditation.

This makes me understand why many Zen monks find the need to live in society for they see meditation as an ongoing practice that should not depend on closing your eyes in a silent place, but rather it should happen all the time and every place you go.

I think for now I'll go now with the phrase: "everything you seek is everywhere".

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Hola, ¿cómo estas?
Como verás, soy nuevo en la comunidad, y lo que algunos hacemos cuando somos nuevos en algún lugar es dar una vuelta a ver qué hay, quiénes están.
Vi que había una comunidad que se enfocaba en temas espirituales, y por ello llegué a este post, lo cuial agradezco.
Lo primero que debo decirte es que me impactó el título, y llegué creyendo que, luego de la primera exposición, dirías que si estabas de acuerdo con la frase; pero no! y eso me agradó, pues mantuviste el hilo y tu percepción de una frase que sí, hemos oído millones de veces, y que, como dices, la excesiva repetición no la convierte e verdad. De hecho, cabe la primera pregunta: ¿existe una única verdad?.
Soy de los que piensa que la verdad es tan amplia como visiones haya sobre un tema, todos los que aportan, dan su verdad, y entre todos construyen una verdad mas grande.
Por otro lado, creo que cada quien, por sus crianza, vivencias, experiencias, tendencias relacionadas a su ser interior, tiene algo que aportar a la verdad, por ello intento no juzgar la opinión de los demás, sino respetarla y buscar qué de allí puedo tomar para nutrir mi visión.

Así como es falso que por repetir una idea un millón de veces se vuelva verdadera, tampoco indica que sea falso. Y esto lo tomo partiendo del principio hermético de polaridad, que afirma que "toda verdad no es sino media verdad, y que toda verdad es medio falsa". Eso nos da una idea de lo amplia y transformadora que puede ser una verdad. También tomando otro principio hermético, el de correspondencia, nos dice que "como abajo es arriba, como arriba es abajo", allí habría mucha tela que cortar, pero desarrollando un poco el tema, también se puede concluir que "como afuera es adentro, como adentro es afuera", y eso daría por cierto la frase que decidiste analizar.
Soy de los que cree que así como el universo hacia afuera es infinito, también el universo interno es infinito (por algo la propia ciencia dice que los humanos no hemos desarrollado ni el 15% de nuestra caopacidad cerebral). Nuestro interior y el exterior son espejo, y todo el conocimiento que deseemos buscar fuera, está también dentro de nosotros. Siento que la búsqueda en el exterior es un medio para encender una chispa que ya está adentro, pero que no hemos visto; de allí que también sea necesario ese exterior para la búsqueda interior.

"...it becomes obvious that all people are different...",
y si, todos somos diferentes, creo que es muy literal tu interpretación allí, pues las palabras tienen sentidos ocultos que vistos literalmente, se pierden. Por ejemplo, creo que todo lo que esta en otros esta en ti, pero es solo una potencialidad, no tiene porque manifestarse (hay gente que conoce de ingeniería, y tu podrías acceder a todo ese conocimiento porque está dentro de ti todo ese potencial, pero si no lo desarrollas, no se manifiesta...pero no quiere decir que no este).
Nosotros somos una infinitud de posibilidades, pero de esa infinitud, solo unas pocas salen a la luz del mundo e inclusive, de nosotros mismos, ya que mas es lo que desconocemos que lo que conocemos (incluso en nosotros). No en valo la frase en el templo de delfos, allá en grecia: "Conócete a ti mismo....y conocerás a los dioses y al universo", ¿imaginas lo dificil que es conocer al universo? así de difícil es conocerse una mismo.

"...it's all in me, I don't need that person..."
Qué buen hallazgo!!! y es que una cosa es necesidad y dependencia y otra es compartir, desarrollo y apoyo mutuo, sinergia. Sentir que eres autosuficiente para llevar una vida en el planeta, cuando somos en esencia seres sociales, es golpearte muy fuerte. Todos estamos conectados, e incluso a través de los otros llegamos a conocernos a nosotros. Ahora, desde el punto de vista de la felicidad, te diría que si, que deberíamos estar felices con nosotros mismos, sin necesidad de una segunda persona; cuando logramos esa dicha interior con nosotros mismos, podemos compartirla mas sanamente con otros.

La parte final de tu escrito, cuando dices que no quieres seguir sintiendo eso, me parece que tiene que ver con el apego. El apego como concepto general, es cualquier cosa, que al no tenerla genera sufrimiento, en este caso tu tenías apego a ese pensamiento de "todo esta dentro de mi y no necesito de mas nadie" de forma literal en todos loa ámbitos de tu vida, y ese apego como cualquier otro (a alguien, a algo, a una idea) te estaba haciendo sufrir, porque era un imposible llevarlo a cabo de esa manera.
Creo igual que tu autodescuibrimiento es válido, y debes seguir en esa búsqueda, porque al final llegaste a todas esas conclusiones buscando dentro de ti, donde al final están todas las respuestas.

Me parece genial tu respuesta y la leí con mucha detención. Gracias por las reflexiones y por contribuir a este aprendizaje que seguramente es infinito. Espero que tengas una buena experiencia aquí en la comunidad, no dudes en solicitar ayuda si la necesitas 🙂

Hey Fenngen! wOw, very special post! It can be so healthy to step out of our sacred zone, even if just to see where the rest of the world is at and how we relate to it. These are difficult times for many, especially those that resist change.

There are more who care than you may realise..

My Zen'ness wants to say:
"Why was the Buddha able to laugh"

Much love!

Couple of technical points!
This post would only appear on SpiritWeb if you do one of the below. Unfortunately at least right now, if it's not tagged first with hive-183196 or posted from the SpiritWeb community page it wont show up!.
{edit, i have cross-posted it now so we have another way!}
ALso:
Just to let you know that the use of the ecoTrain tag has changed!
We are now curating and posting in the ecoTrain community page.

So from now on you can either:

  1. Post from our community page

    OR and use any tags you want including #ecotrain if you like. https://steempeak.com/c/hive-123046/created
  2. If you're posting from another community page or just normally then please use the following tag first
    hive-166850

Thanks a lot, i look forward to reading more of your posts brother!

There are more who care than you may realise..

Indeed, I should of mentioned I meant more in a local sense. It seems I have landed in one of the most ecologically forsaken regions of the country, but I'm already thinking about doing some workshops in schools and doing some community-based action for change!

If you're posting from another community page or just normally then please use the following tag first
hive-166850

Does that mean I can post in two community pages simultaneously?

Thanks for the heads up!! Blessings bro!

it doesnt, i now undertand it properly.. u can post to one community only.. best forget totally about hive tags and just post to the community using the post interface!

Oh, bummer. Guess crossposting is the way to go!

maybe! sometimes at least.. i think the oweners of communities can and will also cross post good content into their community.. ive already done one or two and even made a crossposting account for SpiritWeb.. make things easier and also nice for the author to get that extra support without having to post..

Hopefully this will help give value to older posts as well. Thanks for the cross-posts, I'll be on the lookout for good posts to send over to the SpiritWeb community as well.

By the way, I'm still thinking about why the Buddha could laugh hahaha, though if enlightenment is anything like a constant psychedelic trip there would be plenty of reasons to laugh!

yes, it is really good to bring old posts to life,, but i can see now also to share current posts, like news etc into a community feed..

and YEs, VERY happy to have you and anyone cross-posting nice stuff into the community.. thats the way really.. ONLY thing is our comments go to you and not the author.. lol.. its interesting!

why the Buddha can laugh..
maybe
life is a game

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Can’t it be both?

And if what you seek is inside yourself then isn’t what you hate also inside yourself?

Definitely, hence the finishing line:

I think for now I'll go now with the phrase: "everything you seek is everywhere".

This post has been cross-posted to the SpiritWeb Community.
Love & Light

Thanks for spreading the love @spiritweb!

This is an exceptionally written post @fenngen! Some seriously RICH food for thought here!

Thank you @jaynie! How's your recovery coming along?

My pleasure @fenngen! I am doing very well, thank you!

Glad to hear that, big hug and stay well!

Thank you!!! xxx

For One is All and All Is One... Welcome on the Free Your Mind Journey!

For One is All and
All Is One... Welcome on the
Free Your Mind Journey!

                 - mondoshawan


I'm a bot. I detect haiku.

Inconceivably simultaneously one...and different.

Observe the unimaginable and you will free your mind!

Will work on that today!

Thank You BroSir... I'm with you!

I hear you @fenngen, we're all in this together. I also don't socialize as much as I used to, am more on steemit than live socializing. I have very few live friends that I care to even spend time with, living in a small town. I am happier alone, can go for lengths of time alone. Bit we are social animals apparently and when my own company gets boring I also feel restless and then even an arbitrary friend is pleasant as a change. Variety may be what we seek, or what the mind seeks. The self is apparently self-satisfied in relationship with the divine. But we're not at that level of solitary monk in a cave...yet.

But we're not at that level of solitary monk in a cave...yet.

And who is? I feel this image has been so romanticized in time and while I don't doubt it to be an intense learning experience, it might be a bit damaging to hold it in such a high place in our consciousness.

The self is apparently self-satisfied in relationship with the divine.

I have gone through times where I definitely felt this and later felt divinity itself pushing me out into the world, like saying: "go out there, you still have much to learn".

Thank you for commenting, it gladdens me to know you're in good enough terms with yourself to spend lengths of time alone and be happy that way. I suppose it's all about cycles and variations that move is into new learnings.

Yes apparently we can go through cycles and change our mood with time - sometimes self-satisfied with our own company and sometimes in need of community. There are those two distinct paths in the spiritual tradition of India - the solitary hermit or babaji, and the social activist, or traveling sadhu who goes from village to village, outwardly as a beggar but inwardly with the idea to inspire, teach or uplift those met along the way. Both are accepted but the activist is considered more valuable and actually more appropriate for us at this time in history.

Interesting, didn't know those were archetypical spiritual paths... I guess I don't fit in either as I like to vary between both worlds, and at times I manage to balance them but it's hard to sustain.

I am glad you are part of my communities... xxx I love learning from you xx

How could I have been so arrogant to think that all of it was just me and that there was no one else out there?

It's only arrogance if it's just a conscious belief, a fake it till you make it thing. I think.

My (this persona) belief is that it is not possible to speak ultimate truth. Speech, even thoughts, only arise in this duality, this dream of life, where everything is paradoxical, there is no absolute truth. Yet these are also words, and this is just a concept. I know nothing.

But I continue to play in this game of life as if it were real (so I act), but not taking anything too seriously, AND as if it is all "within" so I just am!

Peace be with you.

But I continue to play in this game of life as if it were real (so I act), but not taking anything too seriously, AND as if it is all "within" so I just am!

Seems to be the only way to play the game without going nuts! Thanks for your thoughtful comment.

 5 years ago  Reveal Comment