In life we come across many situations which teach us some very valuable lessons and sometimes very tough lessons as well, which we may be aware of but we live in denial.
The one very hard lesson that I have learnt in my life is that, People will be nice to you only till they need you or you are of any use to them. I always like to be helpful to people in whatever capacity I can, and for the same reason many times I have been cheated, whether it is relationships or it is related to money. My one very big weakness in life is I do not like to say NO, even if it puts me in a uncomfortable situation and on top of that I become very emotional when things go wrong and after that I become heavily critical of my self.
Trust is a very big thing with people and when someone breaks our trust, it is very difficult to heal the wounds. In the past many times when people have reached out to me for any kind of monetary help specially when they mention it is for medical needs then I do not shy off and always try to help in my best capacity, and later on I see that they never return back the money and just not that they completely disappear as if they never existed in my space. I have lost a lot of money in that way, but then I just pacify myself that I gave them for medical needs so I should forget it and not hold any grudge. After that I decided not to lend money to any one for whatever reason, and if I want to help then I should do it as a charity with whatever I can do it comfortably and not go out of my way to help the person.
But then 3 years back, again I faced a similar situation, and I got swayed away in it. A close friend of mine was down with health issues, and at the same time was also facing crises financially as her work had suffered. I was feeling emotional, though the health problem was nothing very serious, but then I was not feeling good that she asked me for help for medical reasons and I would say No, so I decided to help her. I helped her once and then after few days she again asked me, and I did it again, and then again and again, and I was seeing that it was a very convenient mean for her to get money out of me, and gradually she started asking for bigger amounts. The other part which was worrying me was, it was not that I could not, but then she by herself was not making any effort to earn. She was misusing my trust and the relationship of friendship with her.
After some couple of months, I realized that I had lend her quite a big amount of money and it was almost impossible to receive it back from her, since she had no source of income, it was like I was hypnotized into giving her, and then suddenly got back to my senses. And then I decided to stop helping her in every way completely. As soon as I decided to stop helping her, gradually I noticed that she started drifting away, and then making excuses to not stay connected with me. For some months I was very shaken up, again I was going through the same cycle of my past. For me a friend means a lot and I will do whatever I can to be for them, but then this was a clear abuse, and I was to an extent tolerating her nonsense as well.
In past also I had lost money due to these type of trust issues, but then this time the amount was big and it really shook me up for my own stupidity. After some months she completely disappeared and made herself totally unavailable for me. This was a bigger shock for me. I still cannot get over it that people can be so mean and so selfish, specially to people who help them in their most trying times.
Anyways that's what life is all about, bringing us through situations from where we learn, grow and move on. Finally I have now firmly made up my mind to not lend money to anyone and also not get emotionally attached to people. I have learned that everyone has their own place and they should be kept there, with distance so that they do not intervene in your inner space and start disturbing your own peace of mind.
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This is a bitter but true saying. I too feel the same. But this doesn't go for your family members and your genuine friends. They are by your side all the time and are your true well wishers. So I like to live my life keeping them in mind :)
Yes, there are still good people on this Planet, we should never generalize
Money can be the biggest evil, it turns family members against each other, it creates distances between friends, and yes all of this depends on how much importance you give to it. But I too believe that goodness prevails, we really cannot judge why a person behaves in a particular manner, may be some of their weak areas of life, which they have to learn and grow from.
It is interesting what you say....I consider money the greatest tool to test people. I am grateful for money as it is almost always the best test tool for character
❤️ I appreciate your post,
👁️🗨️ I reblogged it to my fans blogs @ourselection / @ourselections.
Thank you
It means somewhere deep down you are a people pleaser which in general isn't really a bad habit, unless.....as you mentioned it starts to affect yourself and your own being.
The example of your friend and the money is one that happens in a lot of places. People like your company because of something that you can provide for them. When it falls away, there is nothing there anymore.
never forget you are your own number 1 in this game girlie!
May be, people pleaser, you can say that. If someone comes to me for help for a medical issue then that is where I go weak. I just do not have a heart to say No, that's why some lessons are learned the hard way. And anyways I am a slow learner...hehehe...so I do keep getting these beatings ;-)
Do not feel sorry for losing the money, it is way more costly to lose humanity and character. You have learned a tough lesson and it has made you who you are. I am sure that God repayed you in many ways. A good soul is always rewarded in the end.
True, losing humanity is more disastrous then money. It hurts when so called good friends behave in that manner, I feel it was an act of cowardness. May be she thought she could not return me back the money and hence she chose to deal with it in this unpleasant manner. And you are right, God has graced me with many blessings to overlook these kind of situation, but if I do not learn from this then I would be foolish, isn't it?
Yes not learning from mistakes and doing it all over again would be....to say it nicely...naive
Good job
Story which helps think about nowadays some people attitude. Thank you!
Thank you for reciprocating
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Money brings out the real friends and family. When you have money you get people all around you, once they get what they want then they are gone.
Yes, some people are like that, but I still believe that there are genuine people as well that come in our lives.
Yes sure..