Hey Regina,
Oh wow... I don't even know where to begin. Reading your post I had a whole bunch of things come to my mind. Let me see if I can recall it all:
Physical violence - I feel really sorry, on one hand about your bloody nose, on the other one about losing a relationship like this. However, I guess it's evident that if this is how it ended, it wouldn't have gone anywhere, really. The other thing that just screamed me in the face, is that no matter what you may think about the place you live in, had this happened just a bit south past the border, nobody would have gone to jail, but some other, much worse things may have happened instead. Okay, I know, this horrible fact doesn't help you much either, but it's part of our sad reality as your southern neighbors.
Off-grid independence - Here I have to give you a lot of props! How easy would it be to go your mom's, forget about off-grid lifestyle and reinvent yourself in some other area. But no, instead you're sticking to your plans. After all, your name is just as much on the deed a the guy's. So you are sticking to your plans, and fighting for your place. So I wish you all the best your tenacity will earn you! And once he's back, you will have to work things out with him, but even then he can't be any worse than an annoying neighbor. And looking at that shed it may not look like much, but I can imagine how you could turn it into an awesome space, while the camper slowly rots away...
Though what I'm really sorry about it that you lost your purse, and some jerk went off on a spending spree with your credit cards! That really sucks! Still, I enjoy feeling your strength through your words. Your self reliant attitude is quite evidently there, even without explaining your rough-neck / single mom background. Now I can't wait for the page to turn and to see a more positive post, about something that worked out nicely.
There will be positive posts, for sure. Its kinda like the challenge just got a whole lot more interesting. I have to re-evaluate myself as a person, my strengths, my weaknesses, and my knowledge. I have to assess my assets, my skills. Its really a whole new perspective on who I am and what I am doing.
Running is not an option. Giving up is not an option. I have spent my life savings on this property, and I won't give up on it due to a unfortunate event.
But it is amazing how 1.5 seconds of indiscretion can completely change the course of one's life.
Being alone, that is an interesting perspective. I haven't been alone, actually really by myself, my entire life. From raising another human to being in relationships, I haven't ever really been on my own, per se.
I am glad you read my post and I always really enjoy your comments. Thanks for your encouragement.
Of course, my pleasure (for real, not just a nice phrase). As for the encouragement, I feel it is you and your post that feels encouraging to read, how you are facing a quite formidable situation. All I do is applaud your effort.
This time of the year is good for these kinds of reflections anyway, as it is a good way to start the year with a blank slate. Though I believe those 1.5 seconds started long before it came to this violent culmination...
If you haven't been alone, that is most of the time for an extended period, you're in for a trip, for certain! After you go through the usual spectrum of feelings, from boredom to worry, you will realize that you are never really alone, you can't be. Especially out in nature, you'll see how things start talking to you, and they don't tell you bullshit either.
Wow, those are all very insightful thoughts. Nature, yes, it is my true calling to embrace nature as much as I can. And I do pick up on those messages and probably will even more than before.
The 1.5 seconds were a reflection of months and years of pressure, stress, and tension. It tends to erupt like that, just like a volcano.
I am glad that my post has encouraged you, it means a lot to me, for reals.
Nice! And I am relieved that you found value in my response. Because lots of times, particularly looking back at what I've said, I tend to feel a bit like some cartoon rendering of a sage. And the only reason I don't delete it again is because I believe in what I say, though it still doesn't make me feel any less like some sort of Master Oogway. So thank you!
Ok, that is TOO FUNNY because I literally just watched Kung Fu Panda last night! Awesome!
The secret ingredient is there is no secret ingredient. That one hit home for me.
Nice one! The piece of wisdom I thought was golden is the gift:
Yesterday's history. Tomorrow's a mystery. But today is a gift, and that's why they call it the present.
Yeah, that is a great one too. Lots of wisdom droplets in that movie.