It's such a good time to be alive! we got all sorts of things that they never had or seen years ago, yet it is said that there is nothing new under the sun. I agree to a certain extent while I think of how interesting my life is or has been. The most valuable lesson I have learned in this life is that it is non-stop. Anytime you dare stop, then them day go catch up.
interlude [ This energy is absurd , he keeps letting go]
Preview 3 years back
Most people are convinced that it's about the money, its not really all money. Money serves to regulate things like choices and energies otherwise money is just a way to keep score. So here I was, chasing money so bad, until I get the money then I suddenly find that the money was spent long before it got to me, all I really did was deal it out to services and goods. It didn't mean much except that I had to do things a bit differently, I had to search deeper within myself all while getting help from guys like Jesus, Allah, Budha, Khali even Hades. They are all one and they are all cool, my choices sort of bring the separations I notice. So I then decided to go far from the people into the desert where I couldn't get influenced much. This especially happens every time people, who are creations, disturb and challenging the connection to God. by me, I have died one too many times, I have given up and given this life of mine to God, not only Jesus though but God in all his good and bad daddy vibes.
Ok, for those who see no bad in God, Good for you - I do believe God isn't even started with you. I believe God is way more darkness than light and he loves it so I dedicated my life to him. Pain and whatever low vibrations come with associations in this life are the main reason for my dedication to God, and its not for show. I kind of do not want to be responsible for my own pains when they could really not have been produced. In dedication of my life to God, I put a frequency condition. One that you can only reach when you can only learn about such pains and teach them far differently from how you had experienced them. Sure its just a game and pain is not real - I've seen things and I've been through it and there's more coming. Non-stop, it doesn't stop, this is why I wont afflict no one really. I think my experience is enough, what more - I think I am better off dead. Death is peace to life's hell and knowing that feels like life will only hurt you to inflict pain not death. It gets boring or rather say it just doesn't stop. Whatever we are going through we need to live, eat, communicate, and more just to get by and these things make us forget about the devil for a while. Thats until you sleep, cos if you still sleep then you must know God isn't finished with you yet!
The strength needed to overcome or rather just to keep going because its non stop ----- this strength is absurd! The human spirit and human soul has to be the most unbreakable creation ever. So much has been done to us yet we are still here. You look around and see damaged bodies but the soul is perfectly intact. As we get closer to God, He teaches us how to handle his presence. This is because if/When your God is as strong as mine and you know him, then there can be nothing in the years to come, in the heavens, nothing in existence or whatsoever can be able to separate us from God. This is because God is us and we are him. He also enjoys the truth and honesty that we bring from our own experiences. I dont think its all that interesting having to share or go on about another person's experience. I cant tell you no lie because the truth feels better and when I dont know anything I mind my business, mind my thought, give myself some love. I have tried so much and so long to give my love to, especially these human creations and beings, they lose control. So the whole day that all they can do to you - help you lose control. If this is you I already asked the massive heavenly powers that create worlds to heal you, love you in the best way you can receive and understand love, and appreciate you so that you move closer to God. God loves happy you.
Moving on, non-stop like the market, it crashes and still goes on. Coping with all these has been the greatest challenge. It is true that we are in the most advanced time now, its easier to be afflicted while its also easier to get free. You find those that have overcome the physical barriers then are still having a lot to handle, I pray God make it easier for them. For us who need a constant, everyday drain just to keep us normal - I do sincerely ask God that when he is done with us that he gives us a cool transition to the other side. After all that I went through because God thought Adam was bored and made Eve, to drag us to hell. I have to ask God to take it easy on me cos I love my God like crazy. I'd do anything for my God, heck people are out here trying to get God doing things for them, however by me, it feels like I'm the one in front and my God at the back.
A lot of veils get dragged down the longer you stay in hell. There's a lot I have to be thankful for, my whole life has changed - I mean I use to have legit plans and budgets plus a few things - Now I just do not care. I think that I had them plans and things for the good feeling of it, now I just contain it in the body, knowing that everything is within and creation is complete. There's nothing new to come, its all here all now and with this I don't see why not just transition. Yeah it be nice [inserts dream here], however death means you become one with all that you didn't even think of or know. There's nothing more to life than getting a badge and certificate that says I have served and survived time on earth through life and love. I am not disinterested in life or time, I however stay waiting on God's time. Every now and then I ask him to show me how it gets better because I'm still here - it doesn't take long until my focus is brought back to how meaningless it all is. Only God has true meaning but then again he made Eve from Adam knowing that this is the resulting effects but maybe he wanted to give Adam a wife before the Angels and Demons started humping him in Eden. lol (real laugh out loud). I have learned so much of the skills that only make sense in time and life. Animals in human form, growling teeth and eyes getting tighter - I laugh sometimes.
My lane is a whole rainbow, this one be eating unicorn food. Them spirits and whatever try to indicate or whatever but this one is not interested in things that hide the truth. This is when beauty became distorted, what I held as beauty became monstrous or some of it. Even bringing children into this world becomes invalid in my life, vasectomy plans in place for the sperma retention as well as the fading love for this world, time and space. It feels like I have a whole life ahead of me and I dont even want it, anymore. It feels like it serves no purpose in the grand cycle. It feels like God doing damage control after sh8t hit the fan. Because I cant harbor hate like I used to, I now just want to hold God's hand and with all my heart not feel human. I guess I'm tired. People still look at me in awe, in appreciation of the masterpiece of a life that I put together - about strength, charisma and all that, by me - I know what to do - when to do what to do - I just have this human thing that pains. Every time it pains, I want none of it.
They say its not easy - I believe they make it difficult because its the easiest thing ever. Every day I get up and do it again. I pray to God like more than @0-30 times a day even when its just the Lord's prayer. why? The prayers bring us closer, sometimes it feels like I got chains and serpentines wrapped around me. My heart cant feel cos it isn't open, every night the sandman makes sure the nightmare includes as little love as possible. Just enough love to keep the breath and that comes with a closed heart. My love is mostly theoretic or learned, I dont always have the luxury of feeling so I strengthen my Intellect co sits all I have - Emotions are not mine, I just let it go knowing that one day, God's way, God's time and he will clock the last millisecond of my life as I get a cool preview of my life. There's a few things I'll appreciate in the flashback and it all God in different forms. Especially when he made it clear that I will never be alone, God's got my back 24/7, that brings the question as to why the hell would I then want to die when God is with me 24/7? The answer to that is too simple in that when I do die, I'll be able to be all I am. That's all I want - just me. I do play a lot with God but he cant let me go and it sometimes feel like God enjoys my tormentation. I do not care about my savage God's interest, I just pray that he make it speedy!
Now, I know that God loves me so much he will keep me alive for a while longer so I had to have some skills to survive the torture. Obviously the vasectomy wont solve it, adopting kids wont replace the feeling of my own nor will it keep the streets clear of children. So I just pass the time, here - there - I've been all over the place! There is no place that you can think of or that exists and I haven't been there. Call my bluff. That's a trick, this too is a stress relieving mechanism, it doesn't have to be true or mean anything to you!
Conclusion
In the time God is busy holding me hostage in time, I could share what I went through, What I have learned and more. Because I know how it feel and when I am not here I would still love to have my contribution to the healing of the nation as God would have had it. Its a beautiful life, and God works in mysterious ways. I hope that this teaches you that you are here for you and you are sovereign through God. Everything else is destructions! Remember what you have to remember, Dedicate your life to God. He will show you things though pain and laughter, then you get stronger and when you have fully decided (smiles), I am sure you will be able to level up to your truths!
I'd love to hear abouty your experiences
Than you so much for your time, it means a lot!
Love And Light -till I die!
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