I've been browsing Hive and I found a post from @daltono about friends. Here is the link to his post. I started writing a comment and I realized the topic is so big that I need to dedicate a full post to it.
I'm 28 years old right now and honestly I don't remember anyone in real life who I could call a "friend".
School times - most of the time I was bullied by others, so the plan was allways to go back home as quickly as possible. Here is where the internet comes. I played a lot of games and here I met a lot of good people, most of them I know since 2007 and we are best friends til this day.
For me the question was allways,
- Do I spend my time with fake people who are bullying me and treating me like a "fun object"?
or - Do I go back home as soon as possible and enjoy my time with people online who trust me, respect me and we have a good time?
So I had no choice answer was obvious. Online friends.
I belive life is an extremly RNG. Of course there is a tons of things in life that we can have impact on, but there are also factors that we can't control. One of those factors is people we meet.
Comparison making friends online vs IRL
IRL our time and space we live in is limited. We go to school, meet some people there, after we finish school we probably go to job and also meet some people there. How many people are in your class? 30? How many people are in your job 20? Those numbers are random, but let's say you meet average ~50 people durning your age 18-28. The chance you found a really good friend is not that big as online, where you meet hundreds of people. Online definitely wins there.
Another thing is interests&hobbies. People IRL are usually empty, all they can talk about is:
1.their job
2.their car
3.girls they want to F
4.when are we getting drunk
Most of the people I met in real life don't know english, dont watch movies, dont watch anime, don't play games, don't know sports, don't know news about the world, don't know music types, don't know about crypto. They know nothing. They are so empty that you can't even begin a conversation with them. On the other side - Online. People obviously spend a lot of time online, on reading news, browsing music, watching movies/anime/series, playing games, watching sports, they are looking for ways to earn money. With those kind of poeople you can talk about ANYTHING. The conversation with them is ENDLESS, because they have such a huge knowledge about the world. As we all know conversation is the most important thing, if you can't keep up the conversation with someone you can't be friends, you simply gonna get bored of them talking only about those 4 points I wrote above. Online wins here again.
- People online are more open to talk about their problems/weaknesses.
All my friends online I talk with them about anything, doesn't matter how hard their lifes been, they are sharing the struggle with me so I can cheer them up, help. I do the same, when I'm depressed or some bad shit happened I write to my friends and they allways make me feel better, they find a solution to my problems. IRL people seem to hide their weaknesses, they want to stay strong, not talk about their problems. Many times I asked my friends if they would talk about their problems with their IRL friends, most of them said "no". I don't know why but its proven that people online are more open. What is the benefit of that? Those kind of relations where people share problems and help each other are stronger than anything else. You both trust each other, you know you can rely on each other. IRL its way harder to build a trust. It can take years or it can never happen.
Spending time with your friends online vs in real life
You can't play football with your online friend, you can't play basketball with your online friend, you can't go to the gym together. You can't ride a nice car together. You can't go to a beach together, you can't make all that crazy things together. Its way more options IRL. Online is really limited to:
- playing games
- watching something together
- talking
Here is where real life wins.
But... There is also one thing with online friends that wins. Even if you managed to meet good friends IRL, they probably have family, job, real life stuff to do. Not much time to hang out. On the other side people online tend to spend a lot of time online, even if they have family, job etc they will still spend their evenings online. You never get abbandoned, forgotten. You can still hang out to play some games, watch movies together. Obviously if your IRL friends are online geeks, lucky you. Usually people IRL don't spend much time on PC. They wake up, work, go out with their GF and then they go sleep cause they are tired.
Conclusion:
Meeting friends online is way easier, its more effective and the chance for you to meet BEST LOYAL FRIENDS is way bigger than in real life. IRL you can do more stuff so its obviously better to have friends in real life, but are you lucky enough to find a good friends IRL?
Share your thoughts and experience with friends online/IRL in Comments!
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Such an awesome response to my post. I think focusing on healthy relationships is more important than whether or not they are virtual or irl relationships.
I know what you mean though, people only seem to want to fuck/party and do feel empty. It's nothing like it was when we are kids. We are about the same age, I'm 30, so I know we both had some years where everything wasn't digital yet.
As long as you're happy man, that's what is vital. Always here if you ever need somebody to chat with and happy to see you finding a way to persevere.
Thanks! I totally agree. In my case I rather to have less friends and online, but atleast I know I can rely on them.
Yea thats what society looks like nowadays. I miss old times, when there was no social media, no instagram and as a kids sport was a form of entertainment instead of drinking/partying.
Exactly.
Thanks man, good to have people like you around.