A Dark Manifesto: Beer Review

in BEER9 months ago

It was a dark day, a gloomy day, cloudy and dismal with an aire of hopelessness bordering on dispair. It had snowed. It was cold. Nothing to do but drink my sorrows....

Okay that's a bit dramatic. Just a tad.

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As you may have gathered this post is about dark content. As dark as black Inky liquid. Stouts, the darkest of beers.

This #Beersaturday post is my dark manifesto.

Chocolate Manifesto


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Brewery: Flying Monkeys Craft Brewery
Origin: Barrie ON Canada
Style: Milk Stout
Abv: 10%

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Marketing: A bright and busy can almost boardering on chaotic in its design. Predominantly Yellow coloring with purple and brown contrasting accent colors. Tons of written verbage to lull you into a hypnotic haze while you sip or glug the beer. I love the fun design and the color scheme of this can and its attempt to bring me out of my funky dispair. 5/5

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Color: Pours ink black with a milk chocolate colored head of foam that stuck around for a while and gently left ribbons of dry bubbles around the glass. 5/5

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Nose: Sweet smell of cocoa, milk chocolate, and vanila. Sort of a fake extract like smell coming through as well which could be the liquid cocoa they used or maybe the lactose? I'm not a huge fan of this beers aroma overall. 4/7

Taste: Wowza, sweet up front, huge punch of chocolate and then finishing with a strong bitterness that lasts and lasts. Some alcohol flavors coming through which is not surprising given the hefty 10% abv of the beer. It has that fake sweet taste to me - or maybe just that strange unrecognizable sugary taste that you get when you're not used to a particular sweetness, like a cookie made with stivia or sweetener instead of sugar. I think the taste comes from the lactose. Overall, I'm not a huge fan of the taste either. 4/7

Texture: Full bodied. Light bubbles. Smooth and velvety. Quite nice 4.5/6

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Impression: This beer was marketed as a sweet Stout on the can and it definitely delivered in that department. It was a bit too sweet for me personally, almost to the point of being sickly. I could see this being served as a dessert beer (make a float out of it and drink in on All Hallows Eve). I've had other beers recently that use lactose as an ingredient and I'm finding that the non-traditional sugar tends to taste a little strange to me, kind of like an artificial sweetener. I found the taste to be a little off putting, dissatisfying or some other on theme buzz word. It was the same with the aroma of the beer. I liked how aromatic it was and how the smell of chocolate really came through, but it had that fake extract smell to it also that turned me off right away. I gave this beer a 22.5/30 or a 75% likeability rating but most of the points came from superficial categories related to its visuals. Overall this was an interesting beer that I wouldn't bother to buy again. Throw this one into the disappointing category.

Now continuing on with my dark gimmick let's go on to our next stout. This one may be even darker than the last...

Skull Rock


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Brewery: Sleeping Giant Brewing Co
Origin: Brewed way up in Thunder Bay, ON Canada
Style: Oatmeal Stout
Abv: 5.1%
IBU: 30
Extras: Unfiltered and unpasteurized.

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Marketing: Quite possibly forged in the depths of the underworld, this can is black and grey with red accents. Imprinted with an image of the skull of its maker this design makes me think of rock and roll and/or cheaply manufactured skull rings and belt buckles. Ontario Craft Brewers badge. Toted as good for breakfast or dessert, you could drink this one on your death bed or at a funeral. I'm not big on the design of the can only because its not my style but it does the trick and I like the little extra bits of information on it. 3/5

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Color: A rich dark brown color as dark as a chestnut shell. A very frothy tan head of loosely packed bubbles. The bubbles sort of billowed up and over the glass a little while I poured. Maybe because of how cold the glass was? 4.5/5

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Nose: I notice a sweet almost fruity aroma upfront, toasted notes. Nothing too strong for me. My sense of smell isn't great though. 5.5/7

Taste: Mildly sweet at first moving into more tangy notes and finishing with a long lasting bitterness. Some cocoa and some roasted flavors becoming more pronounced as the beer warms to room temperature. Nothing too powerful in the flavor department but has a noticeable fresh and crisp taste. 6/7

Texture: Sharp bubbles, a surprising amount of carbonation left after the heady pour. Some light silkyness underneath, like black velvet scraping over your tongue okay thats just weird. Medium bodied. 5/6

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Impression: I quite enjoyed this beer. I was excited when I saw it at the store because this was the first I have ever seen it and I love trying new beers. It ended up being a good choice in the end. I would drink this again for sure. 24/30 for a 80% drinkability rating by me.

That concludes my dark beer review and my gimmicky undertones. I had a hard time keeping up with the theme but I tried my best for your entertainment. I hope that you got a small kick out of it.

Until next time, thanks for stopping by. Cheers everyone!

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Save the earth, its the only planet with chocolate

That's a great sell for me. Never mind the beer, there's a reason I never fancied these flavoured beer

Haha yeah it's a clever can. I'm not a fan of flavored beers either. Some breweries are able to get good chocolate flavor without extracts just by using dark roasted malts. Some use real chocolate as well and those ones tens to be really good. Anything with an extract in the ingredient tends to tast fake and gross to me.

I remember having the manifesto. It was a present for my birthday from my father. It was good, but not perfect. I generally enjoyed the experience!

Cheers!

That's cool that you got to try it. That's a long way for it to travel.

I can imagine the kind of taste it will give. It should give that chocolaty taste or so
I wish I could have a taste

Yeah it was quite chocolaty indeed

The foam looks so thick and creamy! 🤤

😋
Cheers 🍻

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I am so sure that will definitely taste so great

Yeah it was pretty good. 😁😋