It's okay not to forgive.
I know that, as the year-end draws near, forgiveness is a common theme. To let go, to forgive and to look forward to a brighter future instead of holding onto grudges.
But staying true to my voice of authenticity, it would be a lie to suppress the vulnerability of not being strong, not being brave and not being able to move forward in certain situations...
We can't "brute force" positivity when we're not ready for it. The truth is, not everyone deserves forgiveness. Especially not those who haven't sought for it with a sincere apology, instead of in defense.
"Sorry Buts"
Common theme in most apologies is the Sorry But format.
I'm sorry but I had to do it because...
I'm sorry but you were being...
I'm sorry you felt that way, but...
People who apologize but don't take full responsibility are often difficult to forgive.
You tell me you did me wrong, and you regret, but it's mostly because of me... You tell me you regret your actions, but it often feels more like self-serving regret than genuine remorse.
This year I had to cut ties with a handful of people in my life. Simply accepting that we do not work well in the same universe, and that I wish you well but please don't come back-- doesn't make anyone selfish.
That's just life.
Sometimes some people are not meant to be in your life. Sometimes things will not end in a good note.
We need to accept things as they are, and that’s okay.
Everything doesn't have to have a clean ending, or a beautiful finale. Some relationships won't end in some form of comfortable closure, and that's just it.
We have to accept life's way of things, and that's okay.
Just because things ended in a sour note doesn't mean that everything from the beginning to the end of that chapter has no meaning. Everything happens for a reason, and there’s always a lesson, no matter how the chapter closes.
I hope you can forgive yourself for not forgiving those who remain unworthy of it, at least for now.
Abusive relationships, toxic friendships, and unhealthy connections—there will always be situations that need to end. There might be harsh words spoken with no kinder alternatives—but they still needed to be said.
If there's no sincere apology, it's okay to let go.
If it no longer serves anyone, it's okay to move on.
I know it's not easy to forgive someone but take your time, eventually you'll learn how to forgive and forget soon!
Thank you for dropping by! I appreciate your thoughts on this 😍 My take on this is that it is easy to forget (time heals) but that not everyone deserves forgiveness.
Sometimes we label "letting go" as forgiveness, but it is a self-served mechanism because having no closure is uncomfortable.
Forgiveness is something that we give. Give for, forgive. The receiving end can either be deserving of it or not. And that's okay.