Honestly speaking, I don't have so-called "friends." Everyone has their own cycle of friends, while I don't have any—someone I can run to when I have problems, someone I can talk to whenever I'm feeling down,someone I can tell my secrets to without worrying they will leak to other people. When I was younger, I had lots of friends, but no one stayed, maybe because I had a bad attitude or because I had done something that made them leave. And my pride is too high to admit that I did something wrong to them. My god! I can't even answer my own questions.
In our home, my siblings friends are close to me, but not that close that I can tell the saddest moment I take. But they are always in my side whenever I need them. There are few who I consider close to my heart but they live far and already have their own family, we only meet seldomly.
My mother is the only one who I consider as my bestfriend. She never left me even in the lowest point of my life . The one who always cheers me up and believe in my capacities.
Yes, I have many classmates I associate with every day; lots of students I mingle with.They show their vibrant, pretty faces in front of me and want to befriend me; they are so kind. But I don't understand myself 😫. Whenever I feel that someone is attached to me, I quickly isolate myself with no intention of hanging them around.I keep on questioning myself: What is wrong with me? Maybe some of my classmates have labeled me something bad because of this attitude. I love sitting beside them and talking about something I can relate to. You know, I sit beside everyone, enunciating any topics. Maybe they consider me a friend, but there is something in me that I can't explain. I felt so alone, even though they are around me and make me feel that I am also important. They even call me "Ate" as a sign of respect because my age is twice as old as theirs.
I love watching people have their own friends and do things they love. I'm longing for one, but I always leave someone behind whenever they are with me. So they left and found someone interesting. I blame myself for not keeping them, because honestly, I don't know how to😥. I love buzzing around everyone, but I always set boundaries. I think I'm afraid to get betrayed. I don't know if it's the exact word. Sometimes when I get bored, I sit beside random people and try asking things, and when he or she responds, I keep on talking till I get bored and leave.
I'm adapting to their lifestyle; how can I associate with them? Then suddenly I bumped into this circle of friends. I always hear them laughing in our classroom. It seems like they have no problem at all. I was intimidated at first to come near them, but I tried. Then I found out they are so friendly to be with; they are happy for small things, and it made me amazed.So whenever we don't have something to do, I come to them and have a chit chat about anything, but we don't do gossiping; I don't like it at all, and neither do they. Because of it, little by little, they carve a space in my heart.
One day,one of them invited me to their house because it's a fiesta. I can't really believe it; I can't even take the smile on my face. It was my first time being invited to a celebration. It makes my heart happy to the extent that I keep on telling almost everyone.
I went there along with my daughter, and she entertained me like I was an important person. Oh! I love the feeling; it is really my first time.
She even buys us bracelets with our names on them.
They accepted me for who I really was. I even told them what kind of person I am and what made me be like this, but they said nothing about it and said the past is the past.
She asked me to take a picture with them, and I said yes. I don't delete this picture; I even don't post it on Facebook. I will keep this forever, a simple reminder that there are people who love my presence and company. We talked for hours and then went home straight.
When I came home, I texted them if they went home safe. When they answer, I log out and go to sleep with a smile on my face.
I hope you find my simple blog interesting to read . Have a good day everyone.
Hello dear! our amazing Juraly! I don't know you personally, you've never been under my class but I believe you are wonderful in your own way. We've encountered few times, yes, however those few times made me see your dedication, desire, and perseverance to fulfill your goal.
One more thing, I genuinely appreciate your being true to yourself inday and choose people whom you surround yourself with... It's necessary to be what and who you really are and if it's what makes you happy, live by it, your choice, your business. At the end of day, people have something to say, may it be good or bad, so don't try pleasing them, please yourself!
Good luck and God bless you dear! See you around!
Thank you so much ma'am for you kind and uplifting words. It means a lot to me to know that my efforts and authenticity have not gone unnoticed. Your message has truly brightened my day. I am grateful for the support And wisdom you've shared ♥️♥️♥️
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STOPAww dear I hope and wish you that you'll be finding loyal and sincere people around you soon. I will also suggest you to only prioritize and give importance to yourself so that you don't need anyone to make you special 🥰
I'm trying my best to learn how to give importance to myself.But I think my past keep on reminding me everytime 😥 .
It's okay to be alone Ma'am @juralyrondina
However, it is also nice to have friends especially real friends that will listen and there for you when you need them.
I'm really up to having real friends ma'am. It's just that I don't know how to keep one 😥.
It's okay to be alone sometimes. 🥰 But finding a right circle was very necessary nowadays. A friends that may be few but you can trust, and accept you for who you are and what you are. God bless you! ❤️ And may you continue to be positive in life always.
Thank you for the words of wisdom ma'am.
It's a treasure to be loved, sometimes people may not have a lot of friends. Like sometimes I don't know how many friends I have. Sometimes it is the leaders who don't have many friends. Your photos here are amazing