Thank you for everything but I’m sorry for being silent in return. I just don’t know how to show it or express it. To tell you the truth, I’m afraid that I’ll embarrass myself for being honest. That’s why people might have misunderstood me. I’m rude, disrespectful or what else more. I just found it hard to be vocal and let people know what I truly feel.
I did my best wearing a smile after noticing everyone who was around me wore one. I looked around and tried my best to fit in. Sometimes I felt like a stampede in my mind seeing how crowded it was. It was relentless for me to mix but even so, I pushed myself and kept on pushing until I found myself in the ground.
There was no time that I dreamt of leaving in this world instead but I do agree that there were times I thought living was exhausting. The desire of wanting a different path to make sure not to experience the kind of hungry life back then. Even though it was kind of sick sometimes, I still kept going because my dreams were hoping to commit. No one knows the hardships I encountered because I prefer to be silent and stand my own feet rather than relying on fate which is unsure.
Let me tell you just a brief story of mine last time when I was on a journey as what I usually do to live a life. “It was already 12 in the noon, I was already hungry of course but I needed to go home for an important matter. I forgot to eat, no, intentionally not to because it was too important. I thought that my life depends on it so I must hurry or else the path I chose would change its direction.”
“However, it’s true that no matter what you do, just don't think of jeopardizing your life. I almost got crushed by a motorcycle while I was driving so fast. When I tried to blink there was nothing I could see and that made me almost fall to the ground. I was still lucky that I immediately stood my one foot on the ground.”
“I stopped and decided to eat beside the road, and next to the shore. I brought food with me so I did eat next to the sea while watching the peaceful horizon. A soothing feeling caused by the wind splashing with water along with it that I found my eyes watering. I thought I was pathetic eating alone hungrily and hurriedly without a table to be comfortable. Even so, I let my sight be watered while I continued eating. I told myself there’s something in life I want so I must endure everything.”
I’m sorry for always being silent about the kind of life I’m experiencing. Even in my simple life I still have my pride which I'm proud of. Know that I’m grateful and thankful for the support. There is just no phrase I could find to explain everything. So yeah, I hope through writing, at least a little I could give you a message.
Thank you for reading
All content is my own unless otherwise noted
If images are being recycled, I just found it fit in my article.
ABOUT ME
Paul was born in Macrohon, Southern Leyte but currently living in Cahayag, San Francisco Southern Leyte. He graduated the course of a BS Mar-E or Bachelor of Science in Marine Engineering in 2019. Although writing is his passion so instead of sailing he decided on writing.
He writes occasionally about random stuff he would see in the outside world. He loves to express what he feels through writing because he's not good at speaking personally.
He also writes fictional stories and emotions because he thinks life matters. He is hoping that his words could reach someone who might be feeling down.
Join me and support me through my adventures not just to the world but also to the human minds not to hate being alive.
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