Kneeeel.. How I wish I could comfort you but I just don't know how. I feel your emotions in this post. I mean, I don't know the exact feeling you felt but I feel sad right now.
It's funny when I tell myself to pursue the career path I want to take, but honestly, it's always the salary because I can't turn a blind eye to the responsibilities.
I so feel this. It's just that you want to do something different but at the end of the day, you end up not doing it because of the weight you're carrying. Butttt someday kneel, you'll be able to do what you want. I hope you do.