You have potential, your english is good, your explain well your ideas, you engage with people, etc, etc.
I know the imposter sindrome, I know a lot about that, not everything that has to be know, but yet...
I know that it's not easy to overcome that, and it's not easy to overcome it alone.
If you can't overcome it alone, maybe it is better to seek help, maybe professional help.
I'm not saying that this will change everything fast, no one can change this for you, only you, and it will not be fast, or easy, not if you want strong and permanent change, but I think that you have the potential for that to. I hope you can overcome this, and reach high levels.
thank you very much for your comment. i do a little self-therapy once in a while through write and other times introspection. like most therapist would say, the first step to recovery is knowing that there is a problem...