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I opened my eyes, a strong light penetrated into my eyes, I blinked and turned my face from the light.
I'm I in the land of the death? I thought.
I flinched as a cold hand touched my forehead.
I roamed my eyes around slowly taking in where I was; I was strapped on a gurney in a small room with a small window, a water drip was connected to my left hand, the strong light that penetrated into my eyes came from a beam in the roof and on my left, a fair lady in white gown was sitting beside me.
Who are you? I asked coldly.
I'm Miss Lisa your nurse.
So I'm in the hospital. So I survived? Why did I survive? I asked nobody in particular.
You survived because it's not your time to die. You were rescued from the sea and brought here by a fisherman, Miss Lisa said.
People won't mind their business, did I ask anyone to help me? I screamed and Miss Lisa held me.
Calm down for the sake of your health. Life is precious, nothing should warrant you trying to take your life, Miss Lisa replied.
I didn't want to end my life, I wanted to end my pains, I said.
I don't know the pains that could have pushed you to the point of jumping from the bridge but God knows it and only God can end it. Suicide can't end your pain but will only give you an endless eternity in hell which is more painful than the pains you felt on earth, Miss Lisa said.
Don't mention God to me, there is no God. God doesn't exist. Heaven and hell are all fiction, I replied.
There is God, miss Lisa persisted.
It is just what we were made to believe. It is what our foreparents believed and pass it our parents and our parents pass it to us, but God doesn't exist. If God exist none of what happened to me would have happened. I was an usher in my church, I took active service in church, I swept the church and joined every programme in church. Where did I go wrong? Didn't I pray enough? Didn't I work for God enough? Wasn't I active enough? I asked.
Many times, God let things happen to us to taste our faith, Miss Lisa said.
To taste my faith? Wasn't three years of patience long enough? I'm convinced that God doesn't exist..
Please don't say such again, Miss Lisa cut in.
If you don't want me saying it, then don't mention God to me again. If you want a discussion, let's talk about something else like celebrities, latest trends, fashion, latest designs, wife and side chick saga, baby mama saga, break ups, latest foods in town and many more. We could hit a sweet discussion and become good friends, I replied.
I gave Miss Lisa a big fake smile but deep down inside me, I was in serious and terrible pains.
I like Davido, his music is take away but he is too noisy and I hate that. His noisiness actually makes him childish and I don't know what he loves about chioma....
I was talking very fast trying to hide the pains inside me and the arching of my heart that I didn't notice tears were rolling down my cheeks as I spoke.
I continue blabbing about Davido, Miss Lisa didn't say a word nor try to stop me. she sat staring at me with sympathy.
At a point, I ran out of what to say and broke into a sob. Tears rolled down my cheeks freely.
Miss Lisa gently held my hand.
Were you broken hearted? Miss Lisa asked.
I shook my head.
Death of a love one?
I shook my head again.
Can you please tell me what happened to you, Miss Lisa begged and wiped my face with her handkerchief.
Why do you want to know? I asked rudely.
Because I care, Miss Lisa replied calmly.
Because talking to someone can ease pains and a problem shared is half solved, Miss Lisa added.
Fine, I will tell you, I said.
I'm listening, Miss Lisa replied.
In my family, I began.
To be continued...