(I had this idea of continuing to write & post for each, having started with a bang… only to encounter a typical pattern of running outta steam this time. More lessons in cycles, waves, timing, reality checking ideals of how we can control flow & structure. Afterall, BOUNTEOUSNESS surely doesn’t follow the mind’s ideals of flowing on a fixed schedule; fruits of a garden not manifested on demand, but in correct timing as seasons unfold. From the emphasis on timing with both the 8 and 23-43, my 12-22’s “in the mood OR NOT,” emotional waves/authority… the timeblindness of ADHD is continually met with ever-more lessons in/around timing, ha. T’was feeling like anything I’d write this time would end up MEDIOCRE [8 shadows], nowhere near as much STYLE or EXQUISITENESS as some of what came before; but figured worth squeezing out a bit in spite of the doubts, letting it be whatever it may in its different form. So, on with the reflections seemingly seeking sharing…)
1st observation came reading Rudd’s interpretation/description of EXQUISITENESS. It didn’t resonate. Perhaps even to a degree that it almost felt like a MEDIOCRE attempt at some profound poetic insight. (Though, there are probably some who feel the same about some of my writing at times - maybe they’re right; maybe that’s just the loops of karma, having to sit on both sides of the fence to complete the holistic experience. Ha.) Though all judgements aside, there was a glimmer of another fractal lesson playing out re: the INDIVIDUAL nature of the gate & its Contributions. How those sharings of the 8 come consequential of the INDIVIDUAL aligned to his/her unique path, expressing their particular STYLE… ultimately, each of us having our own unique experience of EXQUISITENESS, irregardless of anyone else’s.
Interestingly enough, I don’t use the word EXQUISITE too often… yet had pulled it out just a day prior to entering gate 8, unaware it’d be the next Siddhi. I’ve had an appreciation of exceptionally stunning homes, and upon watching a tour of an absolutely remarkable villa in Bali, the word just came as a natural expression of what I perceive as EXQUISITENESS. An attention to detail, style, flair, precision in execution of a vision of the utmost calibre of Divine beauty embodied in art. The manifestation of heart & soul into form fit for the tastes of the most discerning connoisseur. A crystallization of near-perfection into the work of mastery, expressive of the highest frequencies of love condensed into the physical and refined to something sheer breathtaking. Just as equally touching & inspiring whether channeled through an INDIVIDUAL’s vision into a fine luxury villa, one of those rare gems of a song that ends up on repeat for hours, or any other outpouring of artistic expression that speaks to spirit in all its right love languages. But of course, it’s gonna be something different floating the boat of every unique INDIVIDUAL.
(Perhaps too, the BOUNTEOUSNESS of Divinity coming down in its myriad of forms - the vast spectrum of Resources of the 14 - the diversity of life, playing itself out on/in/through different fractals… my boat floated with expressions of EXQUISITENESS in specific frequencies of architecture & music that’d others might find MEDIOCRE to their tastes, while yet others find their utmost echelons of EXQUISITENESS in the realm of basket weaving, gardening techniques, distinctly particular qualities of relationships & niche emotional talents, etc… the 14’s RESOURCES of all sorts, fitting countless different situations, to be appreciated by different fractals… that TIMING component of the 8’s sharing, partly esssential to ensure one’s INDIVIDUAL shares are aligning to the correct fractal.)
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Another observation, as have grazed on before: the embrace of the Shadow states not as “get out of it once and you’re good to go,” but territory wherein the steps of our life-dance may ALWAYS cross back & forth into & out of - the polarities neither ‘transcended’ nor ‘escaped,’ but ever-present in the oscillations of the quantum waves. Like, to ground that from the vague abstract overview to the more-tangible: observing again, “to what degree have I been in MEDIOCRITY & COMPROMISE?” And seeing/feeling that it’s not always black & white.
Contemplating that with honesty (and as much objectivity as possible), there’s a bit of a battle with self - while I’ve lived & setup my life to be far from “normal” or “mediocre,” there are still parts where I can see the descriptions of those Shadow states present, where I have made certain compromises - “settling for less” than the HUGE dreams I had when younger, becoming complacent in some regards, etc. Yet, there are other layers & dimensions to some of those situations as well - such as having developed the humility to let go of what of those “big dreams” may have actually been the ‘Reactive Artificial & Enslaved’ Shadows at play with grandiose ambitions, undefined ego “trying to prove.” I can see times & places where STYLE & COMPETENCE present themselves in my INDIVIDUAL path. But it’d be self-deception to conclude there still aren’t ways the Shadows are experienced/expressed. Neither being more or less True than the other, but both existent at the same time, though in different ways. (This is still kinda tough for the mind to grasp, though it wants to… as though there’d be some reconciliation of the seeming-disparity possible that’d bring Peace - perhaps an illusory idea.)
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Otherwise, no big “ah ha” this week. A few small direct experiences of the energies in my own life, yep - bit of that line 3 “phony” feeling as confronting the inability to Contribute in the ways mind deems some arbitrary standard; 5th line confrontation where some Contributions seem to go undernoticed/underappreciated, though t’is actually the purpose to SERVE others on their way rather than receive any standing ovation. A few moments questioning whether some things I write really ARE any valuable contribution, if/when coming more from the mind’s forced ideas ‘initiated’ than a natural flow out of ‘response.’ And of course, more on TIMING - and coming to Peace with that whole “waiting” part again, and perhaps some of the undefined ego/heart’s insecurities or issues around worth, having to deprogram the idea behind whatever sense of feeling “less” is there when the flow & timing isn’t there to Contribute in grand ways all the time.
(And perhaps a bit of my design 14.1 Uranus highlighted with its ‘eccentric’ hyperfocus on the RESOURCES bit, having been on the fence about buying a snowboard that hit my radar - mind rationalizing that a sixth board would be excess, challenged to confront what COMPROMISE would be made subscribing to such logic, versus embracing the BOUNTEOUSNESS of my body’s 14th Gate in the 5th house of ‘play’ - along with EXQUISITENESS of the boutique art piece it is, only years of developing COMPETENCY in riding having been able to come to a place of full appreciation for it. Line Companion on 14.1: “recognition that wealth has its own problems…” finally coming to the conclusion it’s better just to buy the damn board for peace of mind alone, after having obsessed over it enough the last week. Lol.)
Oh… and one last thing. Can’t remember who said it where, but something about the Contributions of the 8 not always being something conscious or intentional, but perhaps even moreso that of WHO WE ARE - the vibrational piece. Not thinking we have to Contribute through purposeful action, but acknowledging that it’s something we might be doing all the time simply as a consequence of being alive and radiating our Individual frequency. I liked that (reminder).
[And thus, another good reminder that the greatest Contributions we may be able to make might ultimately be the refinement of our frequency. Whatever that may look like, so as to decondition, deprogram, and embody more of the Gifts & Siddhis in our unique Individual STYLE, savouring the BOUNTEOUSNESS of our COMPETENCE expressed however brings Peace, Satisfaction, Success & Surprise, and/or simply in the appreciation of awe-inspiring EXQUISITENESS as others express theirs.]
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