How To Contemporary Art – A Guide for the Confused

Modern art is like a magic trick where emotions, deep interpretations, and tax loopholes come together to form the ultimate masterpiece of absurdity. If you thought it was just random brush strokes on a canvas, oh buddy, you’re in for a wild ride. Let me break down how this brilliant system fuels the world of big money and small artistic effort.

Step One: The Birth of a Masterpiece

It all starts with a millionaire who made $20 million this year. Taxes? Ew. So, he turns to the wizardry of art. He hires an "artist" for a measly $25,000 and asks him to create something spectacular.

The artist, known for his previous works such as a coffee stain on a napkin and a sculpture made out of used gum, takes this challenge very seriously. With great concentration, he makes a single brushstroke on a blank canvas and hands over his "masterpiece" with a proud smirk.

Step Two: The Magic of Valuation

But our millionaire isn’t just gonna hang this bad boy up in his bathroom. No, no. He calls in an art appraiser, a close friend who also happens to be a regular guest at his yacht parties. The appraiser takes a long, thoughtful look and then, with an air of divine wisdom, declares: “This is revolutionary! Worth at least $20 million!”

Where did that number come from? Don’t ask. Only uncultured people question the sacred process of art valuation. Plus, the appraiser and the millionaire have been brunching together for years, so you know it’s legit.

Step Three: Museum Magic and Tax Evasion

The next step? Our millionaire donates this $20 million masterpiece to a museum, as a "gift to humanity." But wait—it’s not just charity. Thanks to some next-level tax laws, he now gets to deduct $20 million from his taxable income. And just like that—boom!—he owes zero taxes this year.

Step Four: The Museum Experience

Now, our humble brushstroke hangs in a prestigious museum. Visitors walk by, squinting at it. One guy whispers, “This is dumb. It’s literally just a line on a canvas.”

Enter the hipster, wearing a scarf in 80-degree weather, who overhears this heresy. He scoffs dramatically, sips his overpriced oat milk latte, and mutters, “You just don’t get it. It’s about the message.”

And thus, the glorious cycle of modern art continues, spinning like a ballerina dancing on a pile of tax-free money. Is it genius or just a fancy loophole? That’s for you to decide. But remember, if your wall looks empty, maybe it’s not missing a painting—maybe you just don’t understand the latest trend in contemporary art!