For those who have read my previous post regarding facing my decade-delayed health check, I have been contemplating a lot on the reason that brought this (challenging) milestone to happen in my life.
For those who read what went through many months, and how determined I was to cross into 2024 with a “bang”!, many would have thought that I would blaze every day with that fire of determination.
I thought I was, too.
Until I started noticing my short temper, my inability to be more patient than before, hidden flares of anger (not the fires of determination) started to surface. Yeah, medically, we can blame the menopause is acting up, and even the formation of cysts are just part and parcel of it.
But as believers and co-heirs in Christ, the grafted children of God into the Kingdom of God, this should not be the case.
Menopause should not have gotten under my skin; neither should cysts form because many “retired” peacefully with organs well intact.
Something wasn’t adding up.
Deep within my spirit, I knew it should not be.
Recently, a few weeks before my checkup, a sister who has been very much like the backbone of the prayer warriors in my church approached me, saying that my Aba Father needed her to pray for me.
I was both grateful and taken aback, because despite the outward energy that radiantly flow from within, inwardly I was still “transparent” from the spiritual eyes of the loving Father. Nothing, and I can say it again, NOTHING can skip from HIS gaze.
She mentioned to me that outwardly though nothing seems wrong, but inwardly, “disappointments” and “deep cuts” were formed; and slowly but surely, a façade was formed and I was dying slowly inside.
She offered a prayer for me, and I was deeply grateful and received it; and though often times those burning sensation of anger still tries to pop up once or twice, I brushed it off and chose “by HIS stripes, I am HEALED” declaration, with both faith and doubt occasionally clashes within my soul.
All these came to a halt and the “can of worms in my heart” was revealed and convicted last Saturday, when I stumbled across an interview of a woman of God’s testimony from Sid Roth’s short compilation regarding unintentional unforgiveness that caused her to have that aneurysm to form in her heart. Though it didn’t happen to me (of course), but it struck a chord regarding making a difference for the good outside, but dying on the inside.
Looking at what I have saved up here on HIVE, I took an act of faith and gotten her audiobook, just through 2 CDs (3 in total), I knew that my Aba Father needed me to hear this from a sister who went through that before me. The past she had was relatively similar to mine, but I wasn’t as bad as hers; and I am so grateful that I took the plunge and got it.
And to make it funny, HE wanted me to share it out, in case some could not afford it yet still need to hear it.
product item from sid Roth website
So, in obedience, I uploaded into a subdomain that I own for many decades, and who so ever need an inner healing discovery, please feel free to visit the link below:
The Power of Forgiveness, by Margaret Green
Thanks to HIVE, I could bless myself and someone who may need it, too.
Once I finish listening to the audio book, I will start this 30-day healing journey.
(I just finished CD2, and I really feel I need to re-listen to it again to grasp the essence of realisation)
It is going to be a journey of reflection for me, but I will take time to review it one day at a time, intentionally schedule for a quiet time in the day, and learn to listen for those inner cracks, and surrender to be patched up.
In the mean time, I am still getting back to exercise after a few days of red wave break.
Until Then
Stay healthy, stay curious and learn new things, and stay happy!
If you would like to give some encouragement outside HIVE with some fiat backing, please feel free to visit: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/littlenewthings
You can also support me in HIVE
This report was published via Actifit app (Android | iOS). Check out the original version here on actifit.io
Reading your post really hit home for me. It's a strong reminder of how vital it is to take a step back and look within ourselves, especially when we're facing health issues. It's not always easy to confront those inner battles, but it's so important for our well-being, both inside and out. I appreciate you sharing your journey and spreading hope to others. Keep shining bright! 🌟
Thanks so much for the encouragement.
Yeah a lot of us tend to brush it off and chose not to address inner struggles.
Hope this sharing will keep reminding any reader who come across to have inner care too
!ALIVE
Take care of yourself O.O. Get all the healing you need if the book helps use it ! For me, i think I'm ok now i only rage a bit when playing with noob teams in video games xD but who doesn't. too competitive ;c.
wow you have a subdomain O.O. i also have my own website or used to be my blogspot lol when i blogged before hive
I remembered recently I saw a react about a young avid gamer (around your age) who came across a teenage "veteran gamer" who was trolled, and chose to just give a word of encouragement instead of being like the rest.
I think that young man saved the teen's life from ending himself.
You'll never know, God is molding you patience. 🙃
!ALIVE
O.O I don't know hha. when im gaming sometimes it slike im a different person xD i think only gamers can relate
That guy actually said kind words before the game starts.
hmmm there's a few people that do that. they say like lets win guys we got this or something like that?
Not really. If I find it again I'll show you
o.o ok no worries if u find it u find it
@shawnnft! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @ littlenewthings. (1/10)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want, plus you can win Hive Power (2x 50 HP) and Alive Power (2x 500 AP) delegations (4 weeks), and Ecency Points (4x 50 EP), in our chat every day.
sis. I am so sorry to hear that you are going through a hard time. Caregiving is never easy. I pray your God will deliver to full health soon.