After shedding the baggage of old programs I no longer need, and putting an end to most of the negative thoughts on repeat all day every day, I feel life flowing through me. My fears and doubts are only stories. They do not need my attention unless it serves me, and 99 times out of 100, they do not serve me and so I do not need to believe in them.
The present moment is always where power lies, not in what has happened or in what could happen.
I finally feel the joy of creating. When I forget about wanting to change the world, I remember that I can create worlds. We try to understand the universe by reflecting our image across it...why not try to understand ourselves by reflecting an image of the universe upon ourselves?
Most days I wake up and feel excited to create now. It may take some time to build the momentum but whether it's a special moment, a song, playing around with some audio or visual software to see what I can make, or helping someone hack a problem they are dealing with....I feel my power to shift the world around me, not through coercion, not through persuasion, but through resonance.
I've forfeit all expectation, but in it's place remains invitation. You don't have to sing in harmony with me. I would never press you to. But I'm going to make sure that every part of myself is in harmony with every other part and that I feel in harmony with the world around me. I will dance with the all, and you are welcome to join or to watch or to ignore it.
I set aside some time each day to create.
Recently I find joy in trying to blend sound and image. I make a little riff, or start working on a song, or reworking an old song. Then I look for images that match it. I try to combine the two by whatever means I have available to me, and in the process, I feel myself discovering new things.
It's often hard to distinguish between exploration and creation, because in some sense, everything that could ever exist already exists...it's merely about tapping into it and bringing it into alignment with the physical universe. To discover something is to bring it into reality, and to bring it into reality is part of an explorative process. Exploring the self, exploring all possibilities, different combinations of one's and zero's.
A lot of new possibilities seemed to have opened up for me when I got over one fear in particular. I used to worry that someone might steal my best ideas (Nevermind the fact that on a spiritual level, nothing ever really belongs to us). I realized that my fear of someone stealing my best work was preventing me from even discovering it myself. I was all clogged up and only producing a fraction of what I knew I could.
In some ways I am still only producing a fraction of what I know I could, but now, I can see a very clear and rapid progress, and on top of that, each step looks much more beautiful. I love my messy demos and imperfect editing and amateur images because I know that this is the last time I will ever be at this exact stage in this incarnation. The beauty of the most mundane moments have opened up to me, and so has a level of appreciation that I didn't know I was capable of.
I got over my baggage around the idea of a "product". Some of my work could look like a "product" and some will just look like play. Just because others make the distinction doesn't mean I have to. I can put a price tag because it makes logistical sense in order to build a positive feedback loop with life. It doesn't change the nature of the work. I can see it as "work" or I can see it as "play" because it's both at once. I'm free to live in whichever paradigm I wish at any given moment.
Every decision is made in collaboration with the universe.
Every word is an attempt to represent an idea. It is not the idea itself. We cannot express anything perfectly, and so art becomes a dance, an attempt to express something in a way we have never tried before, with words, with colors, with sounds.
This is a sacred dance, but not one that we need to be stingy with. We are free to engage with the universe in this way at any moment.
It feels good to finally realize that, and to dance every day, without all the extra baggage.
Here are some recent experiments:
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!BBH