Emotions can play a bad trick on us and condition us in such a way that they lead us to carry the traumas of the past day after day. This was my case for many years. I grew up in a beautiful home with my parents and my three siblings. My dad is a wonderful human being, a provider, loving, protective, there is no word that can describe how extraordinary my dad is. My mom is one hundred percent protective, attentive, dedicated to the home and her children, however, my mom is not affectionate, she does not show her feelings but goes straight to actions.
In that context I grew up and I feel fortunate to have great parents, however, for years I carried a heavy burden of resentment against my mother because I do not remember her hugging me, she did not tell me that she loves me, she did not congratulate me when I got good grades in school, in short, from my mother there was not and has not been any signs of affection. I know she loves me because she has always been there for her children and when I was sick she never left my side, but I needed to hear that she loved me, I needed her hugs urgently and I did not receive them. This generated many negative feelings in me and a wound that I carried for many years.
My adolescence was terrible because in addition to all the bad things that accompany this stage, I had in my mind that my mother did not love me and I became rebellious.As I became an adult I was calmer but every once in a while so many memories would come back to haunt me and I would treat my mom with indifference. It was back to those days when I needed her to hold me and I couldn't get it.
Friends, this may seem insignificant and even more so when I thought I understood the lack of my mother's affection. My grandmother left her when she was about four years old and suffered a lot in her childhood, I knew that story but I did not understand why I would have to suffer for things that had affected her, she said it was not my fault that she had gone through that and that it was unfair that because of her traumas she was hurting me. This went through my mind for many years and I felt unhappy until I decided to do to her what I expected.
In my heart I made the determination to treat her the way I wanted her to treat me. I started hugging her, telling her I love her, grabbing her hair to make her affectionate and even though she is still the same with me I feel free. This didn't happen overnight, I had to come to see my mom as a human being who is alien to me and make an effort to understand everything that had happened to her in the past in order to empathize with her from my heart and be the one to cover her wounds, being a balm for her has turned out to be a balm for me.
Time, research and empathy have helped me to grow emotionally and free myself from resentment. I have understood that it is not in my hands to change people, it is not right to demand a person to show you not only with actions that he/she loves you but also that tokens of affection are important, it is not right to impose anything because we do not know the wounds of others. To stop thinking about me and focus more on my mom helped me to heal. I no longer feel any resentment, I love her with all my heart as she is, I am happy to stop that legacy of traumas because I am elaborating my happiness with what is within my reach.
The photos are my own taken with a Realme 7i
I love this.
It can be sometimes hard to be the child of a parent with difficulties in expressing affection (though I do believe it's there, just unexpressed physically or verbally). Still, for the kid, it's damned hard. It's even harder to resist the path of resentfulness and blaming your parent instead of (as you did) seeing them as a human being, flawed like us all.
This was a beautiful entry to #TravelLightTuesday. Thank you <3
Undoubtedly, this path of resentment is very painful and has no end. The best thing to do is to accept each person as he or she is, although this is not easy to do. The most important thing is to get rid of those negative feelings and lead a life without the weight of the wounds.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read me and leave me a nice comment 💫 🌻 💖
I appreciate it very much 😊.
It is beautiful to see that love is stronger than everything, that it heals and also makes us happy.
Greetings with love my friend