My first impulse when I saw this week KISS prompt was...
... as an answer to the question what's the biggest lesson you've learned in the past five years?.
And the most important lesson, as it were, came like a motherf-ing gut punch to a chronic overthinker like myself. Because it flew in the face of everything I'd accustomed myself with. The trick to life, it turns out, isn't turning problems on every possible side, and looking at every obscure angle, to figure out the best possible solution. It's don't do all that.
Then, it got me thinking.
Can we think too much?
We bandy about the term 'overthinker' quite casually, but it strikes me as a slightly deceptive term. We know what an overeater is, someone who eats past the point of satiation. That, also, is something arbitrary that we can only feel inside ourselves. I can't, from the outside, sit watching you eat, and say "that is enough, you are sated". I could, to some degree of accuracy, but only you can know the precise point where you've eaten enough.
So then, who defines the line for overthinking? How much is enough, and where does too much begin?
I don't know. There are those people who do now, think later. Maybe they've got it right. Or perhaps the world belongs to those who, like me, turn an issue on all sides before taking a decision.
Over the past five years, I can think of a number of situations that were truly life-lesson level. None of which allowed me to pass unscathed, yet all carrying more or less the same lesson: think less. You know the right thing to do already. Something inside you vibrates when it's the right thing to do... and when it's not. The last five years also put me in situations where a decision (mine or someone close to me) made me physically ill. When my grandmother was dying last year, we were abroad, scheduled to come home the next day (the day she passed, as it happened). And my mom went through tremendous trouble to arrange an earlier flight for herself. She packed. She left, leaving my brother and I to follow the next day. But as I tried to go about my day, I felt physically sick to my stomach. Riddled by a terrible anxiety that told me clearly she was not supposed to go. Finally, after about fifteen minutes, I couldn't take it anymore, so I called her. To say get off the bus, come back now. You're not supposed to go. Turned out I didn't need to. My mom, overcome by the same terrible premonition, had turned around.
To this day, I don't know if anything bad would've happened if she'd caught that flight. Mayhaps nothing. I do know one thing, and that's I ain't ever messing around with that kind of feeling. If something feels that much off, then maybe you need to steer clear.
Same goes for the right choice, obviously. You know immediately, about things, places and people. Whether they're right or not right. If they're supposed to fit into your life, or not. Decisions, right or wrong. Sometimes, the wrong decision can be the right one in its time. Fucked up as that is.
So, if asked why I made certain decisions of magnitude in the past few years, I did them all because I felt in my gut that they were right at the time. It's the answer I hope to be able to give to this question ten, twenty, fifty years from now. Why? Because you can't go wrong, if you're true to yourself.
Maybe I made the wrong choice at times. Actually, I know I did. But there is peace to be found in knowing you acted as you felt was right. I had to listen to my instinct, because instinct is right. Even if reason, retrospective, or the rest of the world might see it otherwise.
At the end of the day, I'd much rather follow my gut and be proven wrong, then do something that does not resonate with me, and have it turn out it was the right thing. I'd rather miss out on the right thing, than be untrue to myself, in other words.
I couldn't help but scream a whooping yes! when I saw this response. Some things are best left the way the are.
Over time, I've learnt to trust my guts and instincts because of the many circumstances I have wriggled out from just by trusting my guts. A person wouldn't believe it unless they experience it themselves.
This was a beautiful piece ✨
That's exactly it! It's difficult to explain, but maybe that's alright. I think people have got to feel it, to know. I don't think it works otherwise. Thank you :)
I like the fact that you're more particular about feeling instead of assuming. It's best that way.
Have a splendiferous day ✨
I've reasoned myself into so many disastrous decisions that my gut told me were wrong But do I ever learn?
Nah, it's the curse of all us half-clever people -- we think we know better.
Wow! This is the most raw thing I've read here in a long time. I get those feelings sometimes and you know what, it's better I stay true to myself. Sometimes, i feel like maybe it's my selfish trait just being a bitch but I see that it's not just me. I often do things for people to be comfortable while I'm left at a place of total displacement. That has to stop obviously and I'm working on it. This was such a beautiful read. Thanks for sharing.
I picked this up like a magnet. That is the code that I try my best to live by. I like to make my own decisions so that no matter what happens, I take the responsibility for it because I made the choice myself.
It's always best to stick with your gut, even better when you have that female intuition. You just know deep in your heart what's the right step to take.
Exactly. There's great comfort in that autonomy. Thank you, I'm glad you resonated <3
I very much believe in intuition but, even at my age, I find I don't always trust it. When I don't, I'm usually always burned in one way or another. This is one area that I'm trying to improve in. When the red flags go up it's very important to pay attention.
Well said, it's a combination of gut and watching for those tricky red flags, I guess.
Yes! You know, as I get older, I've learned to be weary of overly charismatic people, people who seem to be trying too hard at winning you over. In my life experience that never ends well.
I think age, at least for some, has a couple of mirror lessons. One's you really shouldn't try so much to impress others. and the other's just what you said :D
For sure!
Such a beautiful blog
Thanks!
I have always been an overthinker too, examining all problems from every side. In all honesty, "thinking less" is the biggest lesson I learned in the last 5 years. My best friend always told me that she thinks I have a "prophecy" ability, and I always told her I would go that far. Still, I have abilities that scare me sometimes, because being this way can be a double-edged sword. I believe there's something in that sixth sense theory.
My mum knew I was super sensitive from I was young because I could sense things and if there were a problem, I'd be the first to know.
So yes! I'm with you; go with your gut ✅
Thanks for your #KISS
I enjoyed it 😉
lips sealed
It's interesting how minimalism has a bunch of other connotations aside from the material, eh? You're happier at having less, sure, but also thinking less. Thank you <3
I'm with you, sister.
Trust your instinct always. The mind is just too complicated! 👀
But also know your own mind. Then you can stop thinking so much. 👍🏻
Yeah, seems we need to find a balance, right? I wanna know I'm doing what's right both for mind and gut. Cheers!
Maybe the balance is the balancing act! :D
Take care of yourself 😊🌼
I all agree with your wise words. I every thing we do, the key is to trust our own intuition and everything follows. I love reading your personal experiences and it was nicely written my dear friend.