I think one of the reasons I don't have many friends is because of how I allow the flow and connection to align naturally. If they don't align, we naturally drift apart with ease, no pressure. I easily connect with people whose lifestyles resonate with mine, not those I would have to struggle hard to get along with or find myself constantly saying "no" to their suggestions and solutions.
I'm someone that's living a simple life, a life that's void of heaviness of any form, a very economical life. So I build connections, I mean close friends, based on this lifestyle and when the opposite comes my way, it can't last with me except the relationship is merely a work-client one.
I remember meeting a lady I intended to build a relationship with. Even before we started getting along, I noticed she was a materialistic person. She had a strong fascination with fashion, which I didn’t have a problem with because I like my lady to always look good. However, the first day she hosted me at her house, she gave me a tour of her wardrobe, and instantly, a good portion of the bond I had been nurturing toward her just flew away.
What happened?
The number of shoe cartons in her wardrobe was more than 24—yes, I counted. Take note of the "cartons," meaning these were the very expensive ones that she only wore once in a while. In another corner, she had the shoes she used more often, and those were so many that I didn’t even bother counting.
"What are you doing with all this?" I asked, trying to mask my surprise.
"My dear, shoes and bags are where my money goes. These ones," she said, pointing at the carton-packed shoes, "I haven’t used for many months, and some for years. And let me shock you—I have another order arriving in two weeks!" She looked so happy and boastful while saying this.
At that point, I knew it was a no-go area for me. There was no way I could cope with someone who owned so much and spent so extravagantly on shoes and bags she barely used. If we ever got married, my brain would surely short-circuit seeing her hoarding and constantly buying more.
The same thing applied to her bags. She had so many that she hadn’t used in a while, yet she was still buying more. According to her, she liked to match every outfit with a corresponding color of bag.
"The ones you're not using—why don’t you give them out?" I asked eventually. In response, she pulled out a carton, pointed at the label, and explained that they were too expensive to give away, even though she wasn’t using them.
To crown it all, I found myself naturally drifting away. I didn’t struggle, and I didn’t feel guilty, it was a natural loss of connection. Thankfully, we hadn’t gotten far—we were just getting to know each other, and luckily, I discovered this early enough to use it as an escape route.
What do I mean by escape route?
I’m someone who enjoys simple living. Imagine if we had gotten married, and at the beginning, we were sharing one wardrobe. God knows I would’ve secretly sold or disposed of some of her things in her absence, just to make space for my clothes! Lol.
Also, I’m not shy to admit this—being with such a person would have seriously drained my bank account. If it were something different, I could have tolerated it, but making repetitive purchases of items she didn’t even use? No way.
Thanks for reading.
This is my entry to #Kiss challenge
Photos used are mine
It quite amazing to know you allow the connection to come naturally with ease unlike many who will pressurize others to be connect with them. That's quite a lot and thanks for the effort you put into this thoughtful post.
This image belongs to millycf1976 and was manipulated using Canva.
I know ladies fantasize on shoes and footwears generally but men, that's quite a big number you were referring to and yes, the cartons already signify they were the expensive ones
It's always good to know the extent you could go in relationships because when you don't, you soon immerse yourself in what you can't come out from
allowing friendship flow naturally is also my thing. I don't like too many things and people around me.
That's indeed a red flag! 😂😂 And the fact the she couldn't give some out?
Oh well, everyone has the right to decide how to spend their money or manage their properties, just as much as you have the right to chose who you can "afford" to be with or not.
😂😂😂😂 shebi na you want big fish.