Something happened recently that made me question the nature of certain relationships, especially those without a deep connection. I have always valued and appreciated meaningful connections — the kind that comes from a pure (sincere) heart and not with selfish intent. I'm a soft and easygoing person with a smile everywhere I go, but I also understand that connection is more than making friends or being around people. It encompasses being involved in healthy communication, being seen, heard and understood.
A few minutes into a conversation with someone I once considered close, I realized how disconnected we truly were. He was always bent and focused on proving his stance than getting my point. No matter how I tried to communicate, I felt like I was forcing it; he would always find ways to misinterpret my conversation into something else, which could cause a fight. I felt unheard.
After a while, I knew this was not a connection worth holding onto — it should be something deeper. What I term as a "genuine connection" is one built on mutual understanding and respect, not one where you are constantly misunderstood, ignored or made to feel insignificant.
On the other hand, I've also experienced what true connection feels like. There is a guy I met a year ago, and though we don't see or talk every day, whenever we do, it's always special, and it's as if no time has passed. In fact, our connection is effortless, built on sincerity and mutual respect.
When I am around him, I feel free and always flow with him, and our conversations are always deep and meaningful. This connection is not about the hours we spend together, but about how clearly and well we understand each other despite our differences.
The last time we played a game together, I felt a sense of calm and appreciation — proof that connection isn't about closeness but about the sincerity of intention. This is the kind of bond that transcends beyond convenience — one where we both support each other even when it's inconvenient. This is something I have received from him and he has also received it from me.
@nkemakonam89 and IAs a minimalist, I learned to be intentional and be more careful in my selection of what I allow into my life, and that does not exclude relationships. I flow very well with someone who I have a deeper connection with, and it's something I have appreciated about my life where quality is the other of the day than quantity.
Just as I declutter unnecessary stuff to create space for what truly matters, I apply the same principle to human connection. Not every relationship is worth holding onto; in fact, I realized that having just a few human connections on a deeper, meaningful level is more substantial than being surrounded by a bunch of people who do not connect with you or take steps to understand your point and who you are.
Some relationships exist out of habits, familiarity or obligation rather than true understanding. That was my experience in a past relationship. We spoke often, yet it wasn't the kind of connection I wanted. Of what use is a connection where you put in efforts to be understood but it was exhausting? That is not connection but separation, and communication without connection is just noise.
I decided to let go of the relationship and it was like I'd successfully decluttered an item that no longer served its purpose. I never felt bad about it because it was a necessary step towards a more intentional fulfilling life.
In conclusion, connection is a feeling — one of security, mutual understanding and peace. It's not about how many people I am surrounded with but the quality of those relationships.
All images are mine
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Greetings @princessbusayo what a great post I agree with you that those connections that go beyond the surface and make you feel truly seen and understood are what enrich our lives a lot. Your experience with that person who didn't listen to you reminds me of many similar situations I went through, in the end the important thing is to find someone who really values you and of course be reciprocal.
You have said well, too.
Connection is having such conversations or communications where you feel seen, heard and understood, not the other way round that doesn't add any value and yes, it must be reciprocated back. Thank you so much for your lovely comment.
If you say something and someone misinterpret it again and again, it means the person is not suitable for you to talk. In fact such a person can bring loss to you. If there is connection between two people the understanding comes automatically. It can't be bring by force. I feel that the connection is the magic.
This image belongs to millycf1976 and was manipulated using Canva.
It's my pleasure 🙏