"There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."
Sometimes I have said things without thinking and other times I have thought long and hard about it. The hardest thing I think is knowing when to speak and how to speak.
Once my friend and I had the same experience. She remembered it as something unimportant, I remember that what I did affected me directly. I had to use all my strength of self-control not to tell her everything without a filter, because she already felt bad about what happened.
I used to be a person who kept quiet a lot thinking about not hurting, and I think that's okay. I still tend to be like that. However, everything has its own weight and consequences.
The pressure of not talking could turn one into a pressure cooker: although outwardly calm, inside there is a sea of feelings, actions and reactions that could go wrong if suddenly uncovered. That's why it would be better to let the pressure out little by little than all at once, right?
Some people today see it as okay to speak without filters. However, even cameras have filters, right? And we use them to highlight what we like the most and hide what we don't like. And a car has one too, so it purifies the dirt, not letting it pass to the car's engine, and avoiding damaging it. I really think we need a filter to talk.
There are several things I try to do that help me regulate what I say. For example:
🌸 Think before I speak. Think about the person, their personality, tastes and feelings.
🌸 Listen before I speak. Is there anything she is saying that I agree with and disagree with? I prefer to focus on what we both agree on.
🌸 Don't Judge. If I focus my attention on what the person is saying positively and not the other way around, it is easier for me to avoid saying the negative.
However, there have been many occasions when I speak without thinking, without filtering, I respond without listening and I criticize what I don't like. There are times when I get mentally exhausted by not saying what I really think or by having to regulate it in some way. But there are times where I have felt the satisfaction of being that gift of love speech to someone.
In the end I try to think of a phrase I once heard from a friend and I say to myself, remember Lorena, "don't confuse sincerity with bluntness". 💜
Text of my authorship. The photos are my own, taken with my phone Realme 7. Edited with my phone's editor. Text translated using DeepL.com
Splitter created by me in GIMP 💟