Rain pattered against the window as Mide stared at the glowing screen of her phone. His name, Syll, was an unwelcome word in her text messages. “Can we talk? Please.” He had sent it two days ago, and she hadn’t replied.
She wasn’t sure why she agreed to meet him now, seated across from him in a restaurant. Maybe it was the months of unresolved questions. Maybe she just wanted to hear him beg. Maybe she just wanted to see him, the face she had fallen in love with, one last time.
He looked up at her, guilt creased his forehead. “Thanks for coming.”
“I’m not here for you,” she said coldly, her arms crossed. “I’m here for answers.”
He sighed, “I deserve that.”
“Deserve?!” Mide's voice cracked, and heads turned. She lowered it, though her anger rippled just beneath the surface. “You don’t deserve anything. You threw me away like I was disposable. For what? A cheap thrill?! You chose her, over us, over everything we shared.”
His gaze dropped. “I know I hurt you—”
“Hurt?” She laughed bitterly and fixated her gaze on him, her eyes void of emotions. “That is an understatement. Syll, you betrayed me. You betrayed us.”
“I was stupid. I wasn’t thinking—”
“No,” she interrupted, her voice shaking. “You were thinking. You were thinking about yourself. About what you wanted in the moment. About her. Meanwhile, I was... I was breaking myself trying to make us work. Trying to believe in you.”
Syll opened his mouth but hesitated. The weight of her words settled heavily between them.
“I loved you, in the most genuine way I know” she whispered, her tone softer now but no less raw. “I trusted you. And you shattered me, Syll. Do you even know what that did to me?”
He looked at her, regret sank into his eyes. “Mide, I know I can’t take back what I did. But I’m sorry. I am. I hate myself for what I did to you.”
“That doesn't take the pain away,” Her voice faltered, the sharp edge giving way to exhaustion. “I hated you, Syll. I hated you so much it consumed me. Every time I tried to move forward, that hate pulled me back. It was like I was dragging this... this giant weight everywhere I went.”
He leaned forward slightly, but she held up a hand. She needed to get everything off her chest.
“And it wasn’t just you,” she continued. “It was me, too. I hated myself for not being enough. For not seeing it coming. For staying too long. That hate... it poisoned everything. My peace, my joy, my growth. It made me stagnant, Syll.”
“I don’t know what to say,” he murmured.
“You don’t need to say anything,” she replied. “I’m not here for your redemption. I’m here for mine.”
Syll's brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
She exhaled deeply, looking out the window. “I want to let go. Not for you. For me. I’ve carried this resentment for so long, and it’s been suffocating me. I want to travel light. I want to set this down, walk away and never look back. But... I don’t know how. I've read books on how to forgive," She chuckled dryly. "I've done meditations, nothing seemed to work.”
His voice softened. “I never wanted to hold you back, Mide. I just... I want you to be happy.”
“Do you know what happiness is?” she asked, her tone sharper now. “Happiness is being at peace. And I can’t get there while I’m still chained to what you did. But forgiving you feels... impossible. Like saying what you did was okay.”
“Forgiveness doesn’t mean that,” Syll said quietly.
She stared at him, surprised.
“It doesn’t mean what I did was okay,” he continued. “It just means you’re done letting it own you. You deserve that freedom, Mide. You deserve peace. I'll forever hate myself for ruining us, but it clearly shows that I'm not the man you saw and fell in love with, yet, but I wanna get there. That man you loved and respected, I wanna be that man. But I can't move forward in my journey without your forgiveness.”
Her throat tightened. She blinked quickly, trying to fight the tears. “I don’t know if I can forgive you.”
“That’s okay,” he said. “Take your time. But I need you to know that I am so sorry. I regret it so much and I know that what's done is done but if I could go back in time with this memory of how badly I have hurt you, how I made you cry and how I have felt absolutely shitty ever since, I wouldn't think twice on making the right decision. I would hold on to you, to us.”
Mide sat in silence, his words lingering. She didn’t know if she could ever truly forgive or even trust him, but she knew one thing for certain: she needed this conversation. She was done letting anger control her. She wanted to move forward, lighter, freer.
As she stood to leave, she looked at Syll one last time. “Goodbye, Syll.”
And as she walked out into the street, she felt a flicker of something she hadn’t felt in a long time: relief.
A picture of myself taken with an iPhone 11
When I came across this beautiful Travel-Light Tuesday Prompt, my mind instantly went to the emotional baggage I carried last year. This story is a reflection of that journey, told through a third-person perspective. This writing method was inspired by @jhymi. Such a talented writer, really! It felt like the most open way to capture my moment of freedom, the moment I chose to let go of the excesses that had weighed me down.
I carried the heavy load of resentment, unresolved conflicts, and self-doubt. I knew I needed to let go and that started by asking myself the tough questions: What do I truly need to let go of to feel lighter? What does the process of letting go look like for me?
The answer was clear—I needed closure. I had to confront the source of the heaviness I was carrying. And as a minimalist, I knew I had to approach it like a gradual, layered process, much like peeling an onion, even if it involved constant tearing up. I started by identifying the thoughts and emotions that were holding me back.
The next step was forgiveness—not just for others, but for myself. Giving myself permission to move forward and travel light when it comes to my emotions brought me to a state of rawness, where I had to look inward to see myself without him standing next to me, to be in oneness with myself; body, mind, spirit and soul. And to the realization that I’m no longer burdened by unnecessary weight.
So, if you’re struggling with emotional baggage, ask yourself this: What could you create space for in your life if you stopped carrying the past? For me, letting go made room for gratitude and meaningful connections with others. It allowed me to focus on what truly matters, creating space for peace and happiness.
Thank you for reading!
Posted Using INLEO
This image belongs to millycf1976 and was manipulated using Canva.