I feel like I'm going crazy!



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Making fun of myself today!

Today I feel the urge to write a blog in which I actually make fun of myself. And although it may seem otherwise, I am well aware that not everything is feasible and I know that there are certainly much worse things to complain about. Still, this knowledge does not alter the fact that I sometimes seriously regret our situation. It would be nice if I could just do what I wanted financially. Unfortunately that is not possible. And through this blog I want to keep perspective and remember how much there is to be thankful for. So instead of outright complaining, I want to use humor to put myself in perspective and remind myself that I still have enough in my life to be thankful for, and that life certainly doesn't always have to be serious.

Sometimes I wonder if I've lost my mind. Yes, you may be laughing now, but seriously!

Survival in the Countryside

Life without enough money has long been a kind of permanent episode of the TV show "Survival in the Countryside" for us, in which we had to fight every day to survive, figuratively speaking, of course. I don't mean that we had to fight against the zombies or the angry neighbor who had taken over the neighborhood garden (well, that was also a reality in a certain period), but against the bank account that was and remained as empty as the desert and the supermarkets that looked more like a diamond mine than a place where you can buy food.

I mean, it's been more than 3 years since I had a decent dinner with my partner, somewhere other than in our own home at the kitchen table. The last time I went to a terrace was so long ago that I'm not sure if that was still in the last century. And as icing on the cake, the last time I went on vacation was in 2003. I don't need a time machine after I've already been transported 20 years back in time, do I?

Not because we didn't want to

But why did all this happen? Not because we didn't feel like having a good time, but because there simply wasn't enough money to do fun things. Or doing fun things was too expensive compared to the money that was available. Just how you want to look at it! It is as if we were trapped in a financial prison where the door was locked with the chain of poverty.

And just when we thought we could finally get out of prison, with a little bit of financial air we got, BAM, inflation comes along to push us back into that cramped cell. We thought you could finally buy some luxury products in the supermarket again, but now even a box of eggs seems to be a luxury.

And if that wasn't enough, unions and striking employees are now asking for wage increases of 11% or more, which is certainly not going to help stop or even bring down the crazy price hikes everywhere. It seems that the prison walls are only getting higher and the chains are getting heavier. The little financial air we had built up after years of extremely frugal living is now in danger of being sucked out faster than we can ever create it.

And surely this would be enough to drive anyone crazy, right? In my opinion it looks like it. Because what happened now. Well I'll tell you. Listen and shiver!

Rekindle my inner photographer!

So, while life seems like a financial battlefield for many people, I decided to rekindle my inner photographer. Ow yes, getting back to a passion. That does feel great doesn't it! And you know what? That sparkle that is already alive, but is that enough? No! Of course not! I suddenly decide that I really want "The Real Deal" now! So I've decided to get a mirrorless camera with the Sigma 60-600 lens so I can photograph any bird that crosses my path. Why birds? Because they practically hang out in front of my door and I've come up with all kinds of lame excuses because of the circumstances to not have to travel far. One of those excuses is of course the limited budget! And it is precisely that limited budget that makes me laugh at my own wishes.

Oh believe me, I can totally picture it! With that lens I can shoot everything from my dogs to the beautiful landscapes I encounter if I dare to step foot here from our yard. With the technical gadgets of the mirrorless camera, such as the animal eye autofocus, I see opportunities to keep Myla and Lana's eyes sharp, even if they squint because they don't want to look into the camera. Skipper running and jumping around like crazy is of course no longer a problem. And yes, I can finally see the birds in my garden up close. And of course it can also hide the fact that my own eyes may no longer see 1000% sharply.

Flirting with professional photography is long behind me

And yes, I know it's not the best choice to put everything in one lens. But hey, I'm just... practical right now. After all, who needs multiple lenses when you can do it all in one shot? Okay, maybe professional photographers, but I'll be happy if I get anything done at all. The time when I flirted with professional photography is behind me, and it won't come again back. I've been completely out of it for TOO long. But I really just want to upgrade my photography gear this year and if I don't do it now, I'm sure I never will. And since "never" is a story I don't want to write, I'm afraid I would always regret it, so it really has to be this year. But first I have to see how I get the money. Maybe I should register my dogs for Holland's Got Talent or something...

So yes, it is possible to live for years without actually living. It's like an endless episode of Groundhog Day, but without the jokes and with a whole lot more financial stress. But stop! No problem! I'm working very hard on a new episode where the heroes finally break out of this financial prison and can finally enjoy life.

What do you think? Will I make it?

The photos are all taken by me over the years.


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Bird shooting is one of my faves, so glad you shared this today, and yes, make the new body and lens combo happen!

I'm trying! And glad you liked it ... Thanks for your visit to my blog!

AM a nature lover and your photography is really awesome.

Thank you for the compliments, very much appreciated. Keep enjoying nature as much as you can. I'm definitely trying the same!

I remember our photography competitions well and you most certainly CANNOT give up your passion! It is in there somewhere and all it needs is a spark to rekindle the flame 😀 you have a beautiful eye for photography and I think this year we will have to recapture our former photography habits 🥰 I also now have a mirror less camera but only have an adaptor to use old lenses, but as you say, we have to be practical in these times. I can’t wait to watch your year ahead!
C xx

Oh man, I remember those days also so extremely well, and yeah, we really need to get back into those good habits again! Those were great days, and a bit of competition really works wonders ...

Ah, I think I'm actually looking to get myself a new mirrorless too, and certainly with adapter because I have three lenses that I would love to use too on the new body. But first, I have to get the money to buy what I want ...

I wish life was easy , you are an amazing photographer and it is rare .
at least you bring smiles by capturing those moments .
I will start again taking pleasure in photos and at some point , maybe we will have vacations , a bullrun might help .

Thank you for the very kind words, that brought a smile to my face! And I am looking forward to see your photos pop up on the blockchain too at some point. A bullrun would definitely help ... but we'll see. I'm determined to make it happen.

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