While I like transparency, I don't like being pulled into the drama of other people's lives who have failed to learn how to communicate with discretion. I blame people's reliance on social media and becoming products of the gamification process, seeking for attention and sympathy, rather than solution to whatever is actually affecting them.
I am glad I don't spend any time on the mainstream social platforms where people think airing their own dirty laundry for likes thinks that it elevates them in the eyes of their family and peers. I don't get how broadcasting psychological instability and an inability to cope with what is general ordinary life experience is how people want to position themselves in a society of any kind. It isn't about "being open" at all, it is about picking the lowest hanging fruit for attention and one that is not an investment, but will face a diminishing return on its effectivity.
Personally, I don't mind having people speak in private with me about their various issues, but when they start to broadcast what should be discussed privately in the hope to garner support, when they attempt to bring people into the discussion who have no place to be there, when they start to feed on the drama they can create rather than look for solutions, I will very quickly extricate myself from their lives.
If people are more interested in the attention than the solution, I don't have a lot of time to spend on them. It doesn't really matter what kind of issue it is, whether it be family problems of some kind or health issues. Complaining publicly about these things, but doing nothing toward improving conditions is not where I want to place my attention, time or effort.
What I find is that the people who tend to do this are also the ones who will double-down on their own stupidity, as the public image of themselves and perhaps their own self-worth is tied to the opinions of the group. This means that backtracking is made difficult as the "support" has been "won" on a particular position and changing that position will mean that those who supported are made to feel wrong in their decision and will start to criticize, just to stop themselves from looking foolish.
In some ways, it is like the person who breaks up with a partner and then encourages friends to bad mouth them and tell what they "really think" - only for the couple to get back together a few weeks later and have all of those opinions made known to the partner. Social media is a slew of slander and while there is so much across so many domains that people can't keep track of who said what, when it is personal, it is easy to recall.
Do you remember all of the good things people have said about you, or do you remember when someone has called you fat, or ugly, stupid or made that racist or sexist comment that bit to your own bone? This is the thing with social media, people say so much stuff into the void to strangers that eventually, they are going to trigger a negative reaction from everyone who consumes it - even if it wasn't meant specifically for them, even if it wasn't intended to be negative at all.
Communication requires the transmission and the receiving of information and as we are human, it doesn't work like the zeroes and ones of the digital realm - the results of transmission aren't binary, they are going to be passed through a spectrum that is generated at the individual level through things like past experience, understanding and current emotional state - to be translated and understood in the current moment, which will trigger the reaction.
Communication always triggers some kind of reaction, as it is causes a movement of the mind. It could be the liking of or voting on a post, it could be a look of disdain, it could be a clap of support or a scream in anger, but there is always something, including a turning away, a removal of support - silence.
I think that the people who chase attention through drama will often be met with a turning down of the volume until silence, where people tire of their approach and one by one, switch off and fly away to find something more interesting, something more important.
They can transmit all they want, ramp up their methods and the stakes, but eventually, even the most effective drama seekers will no longer be able to generate a response in their audience, no longer be able to get an emotional rise, as people will just no longer care.
They will be left alone.
The lines of communication will reduce until they themselves remain quiet and they will be relegated to a life of obscurity.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Retreating from people like that seems like a good idea.
Only vaguely related, there is a song someone made by reading birds on wires as music notes, have you seen it?
It isn't always easy to drop them out, depending on where they are in the relationship network - but can be valuable to do so.
No, I haven't seen it, but it is a cool idea. Does it sound okay?
The break up-make up drama. That is to be avoided at all cost. A lot of times they do get back together, and then well you are no longer a family friend, you were wrong, you said all those awful things about someone they love, doesn't matter if you actually said anything at all or even shook your head, the fault of the break-up will always be someone else's fault other than the fault of the person that did the breaking up.
Walking life avoidance is hard enough, almost damned impossible when done on line.
Yeah. I am concerned that a person or two that I know will spill their drama into my world and I will have to ghost them completely.
Oh! well, as they use to say: "El que no llora no mama" :D
I am glad that we never had much tantrum out of Smallsteps. She learned early that it was never going to fly.
Ah! but that's just because you didn't allow her to watch the right videos like the one above. :D
An excellent text and an unbeatable game with the images. Perfect. I think we have been taught wrong when they tell us that you have to cry to get food. Nowadays there are many people with a desire to appear, to receive attention, to have their 5 minutes of fame. These days I saw how the daughter of a Mexican singer, because she said her mother was an alcoholic, drug addict, who had prostituted her, received a million dollar contract from a famous magazine to do a story for her. Apparently: misery sells, crying is lucrative, drama is a good way to advertise. I agree with you when you say that little by little these people are left alone. It is annoying when people walk around with their gray cloud up and down in pity. It is a speech that ends quickly, or at least it tires. I hope you had a great time with your family. Greetings, @tarazkp
It is crazy isn't it? It used to be people had to have talent and poise, now they can be emotional train wrecks.
When attention at any cost is encouraged, it is no wonder why people take the easy way to attract it. No skills required.
erm....slang. };) my dear @nancybriti. Now let me translate that sentence in a better Vzlan visual
LOL. Do you follow me on Twitter? Thank god :D Although I do not tend to post personal stuff to invite likes.
I think I do follow you on Twitter, I just don't spend much time there lately :)
Yep posting about your dirty laundry should never happen and kept between the parties involved. I have never been a fan of social media as I don't get it as I feel it is meaningless. I remember looking up why birds on a wire don't get shocked and it still fascinates me.
It isn't even just the posting - it is in real life conversations too. People are still unwilling to talk about money, but they are willing to cry about their absurd lives.
Interesting words. What, in your opinion, is the main difference between conventional social networks and hive?
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People want to be paid here :D
But, because of that, the general level of engagement is better as there is the sense of investment in more than just the emotional side of things.
I think that the messages here are not amenable to moderation and cannot be deleted by others
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With some folks, it's a neverending cycle of dirty laundry aired out in public and they aren't even trying to get some detergent or fabric softener in the wash. It's almost as if they don't want to get clean by coming clean. It's more of that low-hanging fruit of attention-seeking you mentioned. Be glad you aren't on Facebook in America is all i can say! hahaha
I steer clear of pretty much all of the main social medias and have never been much of a scroll consumer. Facebook for me was the chat feature :)
Pretty much the same here. I only use it to stay connected.
These are actually pigeons, but from underneath and in lowlight, it is hard to tell