Disclaimer: I wrote this five nights ago. I was depressed but I'm OK now.
This may be my darkest thought.
I think I'm trying to kill myself
Without having to do the static act
I'm not proud of what I'm doing
Is it even a conscious thought
Are there questions running through my head
All the while I'm running to be dead
Dark i know s I'm thinking this tears in my eyes
No sane person does shit lit this
Or is it a taboo but normal
Am everyday affair not even thought about
This is running through my mind
Am epiphany cycling is broad strokes
Common to all is blokes
No confusion just a thought
Not even sure why I'm writing this
Maybe it's a last will and testament
Where the saliva in the throat is dry
Which is good because no point to cry
Another beer in hand
I'm nothing but a grain of sand
Did dad have thoughts like this
All the while he drowned out reality?
There's a lot of reasons to be happy
Why am i still feeling in this rot?
I think i need a distraction
Or some sort of interaction
I'm not jealous of what others have
Or am i just in denial
Some sort of a waking dream
Push me so I'll wake the fuck up
I was fine this morning
The light in my eyes
Is this what depression is all about?
A slow grind into none existence
A private hell
Like Idaho?
Anyway it's my last beer I'm about to finish then I'm going home
Mission accomplished.
Hope everything's better now
Cheers Sion. I'm good now.
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