Greetings fellow grumpy hivers
Today I feel like getting stuff out! This will probably be a much different post (note to self - or maybe not. Let's leave that an open discussion) because I need to let my anger/frustration/impatience out. The funny thing though, is that in my journey to self-discovery and personal growth, I learned that I don't know how to fucking do that.
So, I've decided to try posting on this community and maybe for the first time in my life just feeling free and safe in letting my anger out. In my mind right now I'm thinking - oh, maybe anger is too much strong a word, I'm so blessed in so many different ways. BUT, I'll stay firm to my commitment in trying this way of dealing and see how it feels afterwards... That sounds reasonable!
However, I seem to be in a writer's impasse so I'm just gonna give you a little bit of context to what I'm ranting about and then try my best shot at complaining mercilessly. I promise to try be brief!
So lately, life in general has been going pretty well. My career has improved, and I have regained an old life goal of working with babies so the feeling of accomplishment has been much more present. Personally, I and my boyfriend are getting along nicely, communicating our needs to each other a lot more and respecting each other individualities. More recently, we've started to search for our new house which we are going to buy. We've started looking and visiting houses since January and I realise it's a long, time-consuming process. Nevertheless, we are excited about discussing the future and how we want to shape it! Do you see my problem?
New goals achieved, new and exciting accomplishments are just around the corner! How can I complain when life is going so smoothly?
Well, I don't have a fucking idea but hell I'm gonna try!!
A different perspective of my surroundings
I'm feeling frustrated because there's a house we really liked and did a proposal that got denied. We had a similar experience with another house we liked a month ago but in that case, it was a little bit over our budget so we were more prepared for the possibility of a refusal.
I'm the impatient one in the relationship while my boyfriend is a lot calmer and more logical (note to self - pretty standard right?) . The most recent house that we didn't get is within our budget but my boyfriend offered less than the owner's proposal. He's playing out a strategy to do the best deal possible and trying to save a little money for some construction work we would like to do. We've talked a lot about it, and it's logical to do this given the market's prospects right now. We are also being advised by his father who has experience in the real estate business.
But damn I'm getting so impatient!! I'm in this hellish state of paused projects and anticipating the change that's coming. The change of settling into a new routine, new habits and advancing in my life goals. So, yes, I'm suffering from anticipation and I don't like it! I just want it over and I'll use any means at my disposal!
Now, everything in the house I currently live in is starting to look very small and the little things are pissing me off. We live with 2 cats and the house is starting to look crowded. Each day, after dinner, my cats fight over the best place on the couch. In the end, they just end up snuggling together anyway.
Don't be fooled by their cuteness!! Jinx (the 3 colour cat) is a little prick that loves to do an annoying miau like she's in heat for like 30 min to get attention and then when we try to pet her she runs away to rub her face on every furniture of the house. She won't stop until you go after her for a while, always dodging our attempts to pet her.
Loki (the black one) is a cute jester. He will love you, ask to pet him frequently in the cutest way or with the cutest miau in the first moment you move to get out of bed in the morning. But every fucking day at dinner time he will come to my and my bf's computer desks and start throwing everything on the ground. Pencils, plates, glasses, bite paper off. Always on dinner time and the moment we both sit on the couch to watch a series at night. Every day.
And did I mention my bf likes to leave things unorganized and randomly placed? Those two are the perfect combination. My bf and his bad short-term memory leaving pencils and stuff all over his desk and Loki coming every night and throwing them off. Other aspects are bothering me more, and I will try to name them by house areas.
Kitchen
The light in the kitchen that doesn't work so we have to go inside and light a small lamp every night. Usually, my boyfriend exits the kitchen without turning it off and most of the time I have to remind him to go back and turn it off. We have way too much cooking stuff for the storage space we have available, so things are getting messy and I hate having things unorganized and hard to access. The fridge is old, small, hard to clean and does a lot of noise.
Living room
Thankfully our living room is a nice open area. However, at the time we didn't have much money so we took the few pieces of furniture we had and placed them together with some of the owner's house (rented apartment). So nothing matches, the house is an old construction with an old style furniture. Both my I and my bf play some online games on the computer so each one has it's desk. We had to manage the space we had left so I have a small corner that I have to squeeze in every time through the couch and sit on my old and uncomfortable chair that makes my neck hurt more. And the couch was destroyed by my cat's nails so it doesn't look pretty at all.
Bedroom
Nothing big either. My bf has more clothes than me so he gets most of the wardrobe space and I get 4 little drawers and a few hanging spaces. I have to fold my clothes in a very particular way so they all fit which I don't like to do at all. The consequence is often having a big pile of clothes to fold accumulated which I don't like to see either. To top it off, since the room is a bit narrow, for I to pass on and off my side of the bed I can only walk side to side. My legs don't fit walking forward because of the space between the bed and the wall and I've had enough of it.
Others
I dream of the day I can enjoy a little air on a balcony of some sort. We have no outside space and the house's windows are old and very energy inefficient. Now in the winter, our house gets bloody cold because of the old construction and poor energy efficiency and having a heater on for too long has taken a toll on our electricity bill this month. On Summer it gets too hot and we can't leave the windows open without supervision because our cats are curious beings who like to explore. Either I close them in one room together and hear them complain for a 1h to let the house breathe or I leave it always just a little bit open so they can't get through and hear all the traffic and people talking on the street as a side effect. My final dream would be a dishwasher machine and we currently can't install one because of lacking space. I'm tired of doing every dish and cooking utensils by hand in a tiny sink space.
Final notes 💭
Well, I think I got it all out! I'm still fighting against my urge to delete it all and just shut these feelings and thoughts down as I realise there are a lot of different realities in this world. I feel ungrateful when I try to admit these feelings to myself.
Thankfully, I found this much-needed community and as I said in the beginning, this was kind of an experiment to see how I felt if I expressed them in a judgment-free space. I'm not sure how I feel yet... And I don't even know if I succeeded at ranting anyway or if this post is that much different than my usual content (note to self - probably not) !
I will leave that to your judgement 😉. This was fun and I wanna thank you for bearing with me until the end 🤗!
P.S: My cat has just thrown my boyfriend's watch to the ground and came to me afterwards asking to pet him. Oh, he's gone and has pushed the same things to the ground again. Great 🙄.
It's great to get these things out there and have a bit of catharsis! I know I and many others really enjoy having a place here on Hive to let out some of the steam that builds up in life and have folks stop by to see what they can contribute.
The house hunting process is indeed quite stressful and exhausting. We are undergoing that right now ourselves and it's deflating for sure. I think what you're going through is what my wife is also going through, where you are seeing where you are living now and finding ways to get annoyed at it to push yourself into the new house in a faster way. The things we endure in our current living conditions tend to get ignored until we want to get out then it bubbles up. It certainly sounds like there's just a wee bit of stress there for you! I know how that is and thankfully I'm with your boyfriend and on the calmer side hahaha my wife throws a fit and I'm taking it in stride, knowing she's stressed out and it will get better in a little while.
Hopefully you guys can get the house you want! I know it's stressful with the offers and counters but it's definitely good to not overpay for it, overpaying is happening a lot of late!
Thanks for picking this spot to let loose a little bit! I've submitted it for an Ecency vote as it's in a good class of post I think and worthy of a little something. Hopefully they oblige! :D
Hey mate! Aren't you full of surprises?! Not only I'm surprised by your choice of songs on #ttt and now I find out that you are the creator of this brilliant community ahahah 😁😄 It really feels good to let out some steam 😎😎
What a coincidence you are going through the same experience. I'm glad your girlfriend has a calmer partner too 😅 It's good for balance hehe.
Yeah, I agree with his strategy for sure! The risk is big in losing this house but we are very aware to not rush it eheheh I was just bubbling this anxiousness up. I might come here a lot more until the moment I find the house. I sense there are some more stressful moments coming up! But at least I know this stress will end up in something amazing, so it will be worth it!
Thank you so much for your advice and calm 😊 And also for the submission on ecency, I really appreciate it 🙏🙏
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First of all, I am super glad that you got all that out (I really hope you felt a lot better after). The fact that you even know the cause of the uneasiness is a good step to get your emotions and feelings back to normal,
That part you mentioned that you are suffering from anticipation really got my attention, because it seems like it is one of the things you have to tackle first. You are already visualizing having a new space, and having things the way you want them. So, this is it; I think you have to calm down a bit and actually live in the moment.
I understand that it's frustrating rn and you can't wait to escape the situation, but you have been in this same house for few years and you have survived it so far, so what is few more months?
I hope that you get the most suitable and perfect apartment soon, so you will be grateful for this phase and the dissapointments that comes with it.
Btw, thanks for not deleting or shuting your feelings. You will get through this soon, and please, write about it when you do, you write really well.
Hello @creativepearl! I don't think I have ever had the pleasure to meet you before 😊 Thank you so much for your kind words!
You are totally right! When I come back to my rational and logical self I also think that. I'm in a little circle of strong emotions, I would say, somewhere between frustration with excitement 😂
Oh wow! I appreciate your compliment, it means a lot to me 🤗😍! It drives me to push forward and keep writing from the heart 😚
Aw, I'm sorry you're going through a frustrating patch in life 😞😘 It will pass... soon enough, and you'll look back and think... geez look at us now! Buying a house is one of the most stressful things one can do so go easy on yourself. But I understand completely... I would also be like... enough please...can we just be moved into our new place already!
The bits about your cats were funny as hell though!!! 😂😂😂 And not so sure about that writer's impasse anymore - I'd say you're coming out the other side very nicely. And I'm so happy that you are still loving working with your babies... such a special privilege. You rock, my lovely! !LUV !ALIVE !LOLZ
Hehehe, on one hand, I'm kinda glad I'm going through this because in the end, I'm getting a bloody house!! 😁😁😁 See? So many mixed feelings these last weeks ahahah 😅 You get me so well, dear Sam! Thank you for your kind words of encouragement 🤗
I'm glad it amused you at least 🤣🤣🤣 I sometimes wanna just sigh really high of frustration every night when I have to stop eating to discipline my cat 😂 !LOL (oh, and my cats are now fighting over the best spot on the couch 😤)
It really is a privilege! I don't think I will ever stop loving working in Pediatrics 😍
Thank you for stopping by, I'll be catching up soon on your blog 😊 (ok, cats stoped fighting and are licking each other all curled together 🙄)
It must've been so frustrating with the house hunting situation. Anyway, don't delete the post because it's such a good rant and it's nice letting out some steam 😁. I hope you post more often here and also getting the dream house that you both want!
Thank you so much for the encouragement! I'm glad I didn't delete it, for sure. It felt nice to let go and I feel much lighter now 😁 I think I'm gonna try it again sometime soon 😇😂
In a couple of years from now you will get your bigger space and you will laugh at the old place but with good memories. Hope all is well with you. Glad to see things are going well. Every male is disorganised. The ones that aren't are serial killers so count yourself lucky.
I'm sure I will hehehe just needed to let this feelings out there 😆😆 I agree with your theory about men ahahah I accept his chaos but I don't have to like it 😂😂
I hope you are well too mate! It's been a while since last we spoke. How is life going on your side of the world? I have to pay a visit to your blog soon heheh
Relax and be patient. Just advice from an old man that wish he had been more patient in his youth.
!ALIVE
!PIZZA
!PGM
I thank you for your advise! It's the times when we need more patiente that is harder to have it ahahah 🤣🤣 but I'm staying strong and going heheh
Thank you for stopping by 🙏
Hey Daisy I hope you are doing good! I noticed you used Threads back in August '22 when it was still a rudimentary interface with many bugs.
Leo has a new interface now and Threads have been improved a lot, perhaps you want to give it another try at https://alpha.leofinance.io
It is still in alpha stage and in two weeks it'll move to the next stage, but it already looks amazing and the user experience is great.