Mr. Michael Jonathan Donovan,
You keep saying I should feel free to contact you.
Did I tell you that I was in chains,
The whole time I was trying to reach you?
Did someone put duct tape to my lips that is preventing me from talking?
Is there a cage in the office I am confined to?
No, you tell me.
Every now and then,
You keep repeating the same mantra to your colleagues.
So let me ask you then.
Are you reachable?
Do you answer your calls?
Do you even read your messages?
What do you do?
Your profile banner says online.
I can see it.
It says "on-line".
And yet, I told you that this matter is urgent.
And you didn't reply.
Do you provide for a nation?
Do you oversee the affairs of a continent?
Surely, you don't oversee what goes on in the Bahamas, do you?
How are you always busy and I'm not?
My life doesn't have its own problems, is it?
Our chats just look green.
And grass doesn't grow here.
Green and no blue check marks.
I haven't gotten one reply from this freaking approachable man.
If you were a customer service representative, you'd get bad reviews.
If you even get any review.
I mean, you're supposed to be overseeing this whole project, right?
We have a lot of questions.
And you give us no attention.
How was I supposed to know the ropes around here?
Did I fall from heaven?
Do I know everything?
And it seems like you get paid for doing no work.
Now tell me Mr. Alwaysbusy,
Don't you have any priorities?
Do you?
Do you even,
Love your job?
At all?
If you can't answer any question,
Or provide any help,
Then stop telling me to feel free to contact you!
You're basically contactless.
So stop using that phrase with me.
And with everybody else.
Feel free,
Feel free,
Feel free, my left foot!
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