For the first time in several years, despite living in the same neighborhood the entire time, I just saw my ex-best friend.
My ex-best friend (and her mother, for that matter) abandoned me during one of the most difficult periods of my life, and for that, they will never have my forgiveness.
I had just broken up with my alcoholic ex a few weeks prior to the Big Event™ and was living with my best friend's mother during this transitional point. I didn't have a place to live that would allow me to adequately travel to work, so my friend's mother allowed me to stay while I got my life sorted out.
During that time I was also on a dating app, Plenty of Fish. (I had mentally tapped out of my previous relationship months ago due to the abuse, so it only seemed natural! 😄)
Well, during my time on there, one of my best friend's "flings" happened to message me. I knew that they had done coke and slept together, but given that he was on a dating app, I didn't know if they were serious. After all, she was still in contact with her "real" boyfriend and might have been "getting back at him" for a fight. Instead, my friend informed me that although she really liked him, it didn't work out, and that I should "go for it."
So, I did lol. I do not believe in "girl/friend code," or that people "belong" to you even when you're in the midst of identifying your feelings still? I just thought, "gawd I hope my 25-year-old friend grows up soon," and went to hang out with him.
Well, after hanging out, not even sleeping together, my friend lost her mind and told me how she really felt. Despite having a committed relationship, and despite only knowing this new fling for a week or two, she was "falling for him" and couldn't handle the two of us hanging out. She immediately stopped being my friend, got her "real" boyfriend to start threatening me, and got her mother to kick me out.
All for a cokehead that couldn't tell her feelings from a bad case of gas 🥴
I went on to date that man for 2 years. In that time, I would go on to become a crack addict, move 3,000 km away from home, and be physically and mentally abused by him. I tried apologizing to both friend and her mom without telling either of them about the abuse, and received nothing back from either of them. I have never attempted to be the bigger person with them since.
It has been 5 years since the Big Event™ happened. I have moved back to my hometown since, and only live a block away from my friend's place (I have to assume). Despite this, I only saw my friend for the very first time at the Dollarstore.
She still looks awful, like she gives up on life on her days off. She is still with the piece of shit boyfriend (or should I say, fiancé now, according to Facebook! 😂). She still cannot commit to any kind of work ethic and is drifting through life (from an eyewear consultant, to owning her own boutique that mommy bought and ran for her, to a wedding dress consultant, to now face painting children at events lol). Their heads were down the entire time, too terrified to be seen by me, but I know that they saw my husband and children. I just can't help but wonder what she went home and told her mother that day...
I may still be petty and angry about the situation, but what I am not, is a victim. Regardless of how I was treated and the horrors I went through, I am grateful for my experience; I hold no grudges. I recognize that I needed to meet my friend, in order to meet my ex, in order to meet my husband, in order to meet our children.