It is day 2 of Phase 1. I slept a bit and my neighbors brought me food.
Yesterday was hard. Zombie like. I didn't sleep the first night alone in the house. I had the TV running all night, you need some noise around.
I walked over to my landlord next door. To tell her. Beate was shocked to death, Maik rented the house for more than 25 years and was more family than tenant. Still unreal. My psyche is pushing towards rationality and denial of emotions. Though I'm full of it.
Denial is strange cause you know the fact. You saw him laying on the ground. You smelled the obvious, you saw the obvious, you heard the coroner, the medics, the police.
He was too young, to fit, to sporty, that's why they sealed the place.
Yesterday they came in the afternoon, investigated further and then gave the apt free. I didn't walk in there yet. In a few moments I have too. You have to clean the obvious.
Maik will go home to his birthplace on Thursday so we need to recover paperwork, clothes and what. My sister will come here the first time since she dropped Maik off Friday night after coming back from a work party. She will face a horror I don't want to imagine.
We all face this horror cause it becomes real today.
There are many hurdles to overcome besides the obvious. Maik and Maria weren't married. In Germany this is the death sentence for informations or any rights for the not married spouse. Because you don't count as "related". The police was not allowed to give me any information when they showed up first, but they did anyhow, because the felt that in a case like this it is not right to leave us behind with no infos. They did through the days. If we wouldn't have found him we wouldn't have been even informed at all. If he would have been in hospital Maria wouldn't have gotten any information or allowance to go visit or decide.
There are many legal hurdles to overcome and that is why I function. For all of them. I have too. I have too for the moment.
I wanna thank you all, for reading and for responding. Though I'm not able to answer the comments right now, I read them and they help me a lot. You have no idea how much it is appreciated!
So much grief, and so much pain. I read and hold back tears. I would like to do something more, but I don't know what exactly. I still don't know what a bereaved person needs most. It's different for everyone...
Hang in there, dear Anna. You are in my heart ❤️
Sending you hugs
It's going to take time to process what's happened and what's coming is a painful period, so hang in there. Try to take care of yourself in the meantime as health is important. Lit a candle for him, you know, a merry berry candle 🤗
Unfortunately the situation is pretty much the same everywhere in Europe, if you're not a relative, you won't get any information.
These are difficult times for sure and it’s not easy! Glad the police were compassionate and gave you information despite the outdated rules not allowing people to know. Prayers for you all!