Growing up is when every little thing becomes your responsibility, a realization that can sometimes hit you hard. At 24, nearing 25, I find myself reflecting on my own journey, wondering if it's unique or if I'm somehow falling behind in this ever-shifting race. The idea of "30 is the new 20" feels less comforting and more unsettling – am I still young and carefree, or am I already late to the party?
This is a letter to myself, a reminder to be kind to the younger version striving for progress. We're making choices, sometimes stumbling, but always hoping to create a future we won't regret.
At 24, some might consider me accomplished. Finishing my bachelor's at 21, acing my professional exam – it does appear fast-paced. But then COVID-19 struck, interrupting my planned researcher career. It wasn't a rejection, but a nudge in a different direction. My intuition led me to teaching, while weaving research threads into it.
Returning to academia after three years was electrifying. The supportive environment and understanding professors made a world of difference. Finishing my second career introduction (teaching) and passing another licensure exam felt like conquering personal Everest.
Yet, even with two professional licenses and on track for a Master's degree, there's an emptiness inside. It's not about wanting more, it's about feeling incomplete. I wouldn't call myself particularly smart, but I keep exploring.
Just yesterday, a long-lost uncle sparked my curiosity with new research possibilities, even a potential PhD! My maternal uncle had done the same last year. Each offer opens a door, but reality slams it shut with the harsh echo of my financial limitations.
So, dear self, is this self-pity? No. It's a yearning for meaning, a restlessness for something undefined. Their dreams ignited mine for a moment, but I'm mature enough to acknowledge that fantasy needs to meet reality. Money solves problems, but it also creates them.
The journey unfolds one decision at a time. Though the future remains uncertain, I hold onto the faith that my unique climb will eventually lead me to that missing piece, to whatever makes me feel whole.
PS: I just want to runt for this emptiness inside
Yonong laban!! I’m actually amazed that you won’t stop pursuing your dreams and you’re so passionate about it. Financial stuff sucks though
I want to say welcome back, but hold on tighter and continue fighting is much better. Actually, we have the same dream to pursue an Education career and Master's degree. I'm more far from it, but you're almost there. It's a struggle for real when you have financial issues, same here, if not for Hive, I wouldn't even survive. Fighting lang Yonong, if you really want to pursue it, you'll always find a way to finish what you have started.
Hold tight @eunoia101 keep fighting and don't give up and I'm sure that phrase "Phd" will appear in your name someday. Greetings🤗
You're still young, keep on pushing and eventually you'll find yourself where you feel most fit. Happy to see people wanting to pursue a research career, I think Philippines need it. We produce very few PhDs, hope you'll be part of it. :)
I think k it sounds like you’re missing a life partner. You should keep doing the career stuff but find a girlfriend (or boyfriend don’t know what your preference is) that you can do things with and grow with. Not somebody who’s just a couch potato but someone who matches your energy and you can do and explore with. Those are so important to have in our lives and it will add quite a bit of enjoyment to what you’re doing.