This is true and really why parents should become a parent when they're READY. But that's not most situation here in the country as most just get married because they get pregnant and get forced to "mature" quick. It's a problem that already existed way way back and is everywhere and all we had to do was to break that cycle. Become a parent only when you're financially, mentally, emotionally, and physically ready.
But that already happened and there's nothing we can do to change the past. But you can do something tho: you have control of your present time. Recognizing these problems and where they're from is already a very good start for you. It's never gonna be easy changing and managing them, but you can do it slowly.
Maybe at some point you can start going to therapy? So you can talk to the therapist and they will be able to advise you and be able to help you with changing the way you think. The trauma is already there but all you can do now is manage them. It helped me before (and tbh I should do it again now haha) so I think it will also be good for you in the long run.
I totally agree on this. Maybe its also because our parent's generation got too much pride on everything? Too strict and aren't willing to understand and be humble. Idk. zzz
Thank you for the advice. Its not easy when your trauma gets triggered. I try to brush it off but sometimes the emotions are too overwhelming. I was always thinking of going to therapy. Even on the year 2021 where I wanted to commit suicide. But I just can't find a the money to do it. Maybe I can do it now since I got a good job. It pays low though but, at least the salary is not delayed anymore.