Over the years I have come to realize that I may fit the "Jack of all trades, master of none" category where I would learn skills and once I've learned them / become good / become satisfied with the knowledge I got, I become uninterested and move on to learn another thing. I've struggled with this a lot since childhood and which is why identity is so important to me because I'm struggling to know where I stand and where I "belong". While others have already formed their identity in the teenage years, here I am as an adult still looking for it.
Earlier this year I have been diagnosed with ADHD which explains everything that I have struggled with. Among them are not finishing projects because I get bored and move on to another thing that I find interesting.
Since my diagnosis, I am accepting all of my quirks and just going with the flow with what I want to do at the moment. This is good of course, but I can't stop wondering if this is good long term.
As you may have noticed, I am now hyperfixated on anything makeup. This is what I am, when I get interested in things, I tend to give my everything. That's all I think about for months. I am very motivated and focused. It's so intense when it happens that it feels like this is going to be what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Which is why I created Instagram and some other social media accounts.
Literally every hyperfixation I get, that's how I would feel... even though I know it will fade and soon I will find some new things to learn.
Now, here comes the struggle:
Jumping from one thing to another is not good long term. Sure, I gain skills and when someone asks me about one topic that I have previously hyperfixated about, I became so knowledgable that you would think I have years of experience but in reality I only have 3 months of time to learn that thing lol.
It's fun to gain different skills and knowledge but the question is what do I want to do as my 'main thing' on the long term?
What is my MAIN QUEST?
The reason why I don't really promote my social media accounts for makeup that much is because I don't know how long this will last. At the moment I am for sure this will last long term but I am not fooling myself, I know this will fade eventually and I will need to willpower my stuff to remain doing the same thing.
This is about changing careers in people with ADHD which is a known struggle for those who have it.
Even though my interests are related to creativity, they are still quite a different niche.
I want to do makeup, I want to take photographs, I want to make videos, I want to make art, I want to do gameplays and streams. These are the ones I want to do at the moment.
At some point, I know I need to make a decision. Which one is my main quest and which ones are the temporary hobbies. In this world right now, changing careers is not a viable option unless of course I am rich and have no financial responsibilities and needs.
Let's talk about makeup stuff
We are not new to social media so we know that you need to be consistent if you want to gain followers and stuff like that. Yep, I want to do this. But here's the thing: Once I lose interest, all of those efforts are wasted since I'd mostly abandon it and even delete the account once the dopamine wears off. Then I begin to question myself, what if I just used all those energy into one thing and grow one account? Yep.
Once things become quite real, I become scared.
I want to take things slowly with makeup accounts since like I said I don't know if this will last. I am still dipping my toes in it. But when opportunity arises and I'm not ready yet, I worry.
In that screenshot, a makeup brand with 1.2 million followers on Instagram noticed my video and shared it on their social media which you can see it gained 22,000 views. Very far from the amount of views I gain on my own. And this is just a month after making the makeup account. And I had 11 followers that time if I remember correctly haha.
There were 2 brands that wanted to send me PR (free products) as well... and it seems that I really have the potential to be big. But I don't want to disappoint people when they find out they followed me for nothing haha.
What other stuff you want?
There is @hiddenblad3 as well which is another thing that I really want to do or commit to. I love playing games and for me it's chill and I also want to overcome the awkwardness and fear of being perceived but of course it also takes a lot of time. From preparing myself mentally and physically, setting up my PC and the camera and such, to recording and editing the videos. It takes a lot of mental and physical energy for me but I really enjoy doing it.
Do I see myself doing it long term? Yes.
Well, there's also another thing
Well of course there is art that I really have as my main quest but I have paused doing for years now. I really want to do make art because I feel empty when there's no creative outlet and I do see this as a career as well. I am getting back to it and am actually continuing my unfinished art at the moment haha but yeah it really makes me think what thing am I gonna focus on?
All of them takes time and mental effort and energy and if I am just able to choose and focus on one, I think will be very successful fast.
ADHD as a superpower?
I see this a lot and while some ADHD people are able to harness that and are able to manage their life, it's not true for most of us. I mean, sometimes we do feel like it is a superpower and for me I have a lot of experience on that but in general ADHD just feels so disabling.
First of all, I have no control over my interests and what to hyperfocus and hyperfixate on. I can probably harness that at some point but as of the moment I am still figuring myself and learning to live and accept the way things work for me.
One thing I know for sure though, if I really want it, I can do it. No exaggeration. For people who are into spirituality, it will be like "the universe is aligned" with me or something like that. In scientific terms, it's the excellence in pattern recognition, ability to hyperfocus, good with urgency and crisis, and my brain able to understand and learn things quickly if it has my attention.
Ok so
So yeah, just a struggle on which one to focus on or to commit to. I want to do a lot of things but that sounds like a difficult one to do long term especially when things start to become demanding. I do know others can manage to do A LOT OF THINGS at the same time especially when they have a team to do things for them but that's also one problem for me hahaha because I don't want to work with people. XD
If I can clone myself and each has one thing to focus on that is definitely being overpowered lol.
Not complaining or anything, just wanted to share this.
It's good to have a diagnosis, you know why you are like that and don't feel strange... It could be helpful to talk to someone else adhd, ti share opinions, tips and do on... And then keep living as you wish!
Yeah I should’ve done this from the start. People with ADHD and or autism would understand how real the struggle is and not gaslight you lol. If I were rich I would live my life fully but I’m not so. 🤷♂️
Yea only who has it can understand what it means, I got something else (phisical) and who doesn't can't understand it... Haha I wish I was rich too to really live life!
I love your artwork. And your photography (outside of make-up stuff, but also that). I really relate to this. Frankly, I think it's best to embrace it - so you're drawn to multiple projects/creative outlets. It's a great thing and you're a very talented artist. Some people don't even get one passion, so roll with it. (though I can see why it can be challenging, too - If I define myself as "this", how do I also present to the world the side of me that does "that"?)
Thank you for your kind words. This is also why I created different accounts for different "fields" and different usernames sort of different identities. Being drawn to different projects sound so good but in reality bring a lot of disadvantages. Time and attention split between the projects and they become quantity over quality if that makes sense. It's even harder when you need to earn.
I think I also fall into the jack of all trades but master of none category. I still explore new more things until I meet the career that suits me.
This is actually an incomplete idiom, cut off in a way that makes it sound more negative. The original was intended as a compliment:
I am the same and I fully embrace it!
I don't see why. Ever had a conversation with a PhD scholar about anything other than their particular field they dedicated 30 years to? They are largely complete ignoramuses, for the most part, and exceptionally dull.
The point of pursuing interests is less about mastering the function of one subject, and more about how it rewires your brain. Maths in school for example, isn't really about mastering trigonometry. The biggest benefit is making you more analytical, more patient, problem solving.
Every different thing we dabble in builds our minds to be more versatile, balanced and healthy. We learn to be more social, rational, articulate, philosophical, humourous, content. Ultimately, these will be the things that matter, and you'd be surprised how they can blend in ways you wouldn't expect, career-wise
I think it was the luxury brand Hermes maybe? They started off making saddles for horses. They saw cars taking over, and moved to luxury leather, and the rest is history. Nobody would guess a horse saddle maker would become a high street fashion brand!
Haha yeah I was actually planning to put the second line at the end of the post but I forgot. Which is why I love that quote, it’s so true.
Someone with a PhD is able to get to that level because of the time they spent on. I think I wasn’t clear in the post but it is specifically talking about career-wise not just interests. Having a lot of interests is generally good.
Hermes got to this point because they were able to dedicate their time and effort on one thing: their brand. If Hermes randomly stops creating whatever leather and luxury right now and the owner/founder (or whoever highest up lol) decides to abandon the project and deletes the whole brand, and decides to be a streamer or anything completely unrelated without carrying the name of the brand it wouldn’t sound nice would it? Spent years for the brand to grow where it is now only to move on to another thing basically from scratch.
That’s what I meant in the post and I probably wasn’t clear enough lol but yeah. I mean if I got to Hermes level right now any financial things wouldn’t be a problem anymore and am free to do whatever I want.
But to someone in the same boat as me who has nothing and got 3 things to do AT THE SAME TIME, how would the brand grow? Completely in different fields with each different social media accounts, communities, and identities and each account needs engagement and dedication and mental effort. It’s not the same as the Hermes situation at all since what they did was to level up for the same brand but yeah that’s what I meant.
Or probably the best way to describe it is like having 3 new businesses at the same time with one employee for all three.
Maybe a better thing to do is merge all businesses into one and just offer different products under one brand but I don’t know if that would work lol
I wouldn't be too tied down with your ADHD diagnosis, it may have helped you understand why you struggle with things, but even without that, just accept yourself and what you do. I tend to jump around with hobbies as well, acrylic pouring, Chinese calligraphy, yoga, woodwork are just a few which I've started and bought loads of material, but not mastered or touched after a while. Even blogging, I do less of it now, and am lucky if I do a post a week. I see it as a drive for me to restart those hobbies again and stop procrastination...
Very easy to say without ADHD. I do accept myself but I'm not just talking about hobbies, this is about changing careers. If these are all hobbies they are fine to change as long as I have a "stable" stream of income. But if I can't make up my mind about what I want to do then it's not good career-wise. It's like you've already achieved manager status then suddenly changing career into a completely different field as a minimum wage then so on.
There is a reason why ADHD is a disability. It's not just about not being able to focus but executive function as well.
But do you think knowing you have ADHD has helped or hindered your decision making process in all of this?
It has helped a lot. With or without diagnosis I know I jump with things because I’ve already observed myself but I don’t know the “why”. The diagnosis made sense of it all and doesn’t hinder anything.
it's great to hear that 👍
Well said! I have so much disdain for this "ADHD/ADD" crap. I quite frankly find this NORMAL from a historical and evolutionary perspective. They are trying to medicalize us in such nefarious ways it's very frustrating!
Nobody is telling you to take medicines, it is literally an option and nobody even said it's a magic pill that cures it. My doctor herself warned me and emphasized that it's NOT A MAGIC PILL. If you don't like it then stop spreading stigma around it. Especially if you don't know how much medicines have helped people function. Some are able to get by with coaching, therapy, raw-dogging life, prayers, medicines, and that should be okay cos it’s not affecting you.
“Normal” from historical and evolutionary - yes they have existed before and even way back and evolutionary wise it is necessary for the human race. But doesn’t mean people don’t struggle and especially during these times. It’s not just a random disorder that existed right now but what I also don’t understand is how people who don’t struggle with it (and especially who are not professionals) are so dedicated on shitting on it when it clearly helped so many people.
Nobody is forcing you and if you don’t like it then simply not take it 🤷♂️ Unless you’re also the type of person who will tell the cancer patient to not take chemotherapy just cos you believe cancer’s not real and death is normal.
So what I’ve learned myself which may assist you if you are interested in controlling your perceived ADHD (which I think is horse shit but that’s a discussion for another day) is you should find out if you have any vision specialists in your area or can find one nearby.
What I'm saying is not an offense to you at all, but to the medical system we are living in. Don't take my message here the wrong way!
A functional optometrist is one who could help you test these things.
You may have a few things that I think would be helpful to have you review and find out if you’ve got any of these:
A brilliant guy to listen to for podcasts on what could really be underlying for supposed ADHD is Dr Doug Stephey out of California. His podcast is Move Look and Listen and it’s really blown my perspective on so many things ADD and ADHD related.
Contemporary doctors are locked in to forcing people into an ADHD diagnosis instead of looking for the root cause of why the brain is wired the way it is.
It’s not to say that at rhe end of the day it’s not that, but the likelihood of it truly being ADHD is incredibly slim and you could have other factors involved that are leading to misfiring in your brain causing the imbalance.
As for the specific topic here - jumping around to different things can be good but it’s also difficult because it harms our way to find an identity. We often find ways to use something to help drive a sense of purpose for ourselves.
Hopefully you may find what I mentioned above interesting to do a little digging and figure out if you’ve got something that is leading to a feeling of ADHD. It could change your life in a great way!
You think ADHD is horse shit but you believe in the legitimacy of chiropractors? Nah I was already like this since I was a child so of course we have already looked into that and did some tests to confirm ADHD. I don’t know why whenever I talk or mention ADHD there’s always someone who would gaslight me as if they know what my brain does and my family history. So yeah I don’t know how you concluded that it’s incredibly slim without knowing my background…
The jumping to different things is not just about identity though, I wouldn’t have this dilemma if it’s just about doing what I enjoy. I’m thinking career decisions and ways to earn money and how to do them efficiently.
And no I don’t have any vision issues, not even the ones you mentioned. If you were thinking about dyslexia then no I don’t have it. In fact my senses are great and a lot of times too sensitive which literally relates to the CNS. But I’m not here to defend why I have ADHD or to prove to anyone. And it’s silly that I even have to explain that.
You said no offense but it’s like someone saying “guys i dont have one leg” and you’re like “pic or it didn’t happen”. This kind of comment when nobody is asking is harmful for people with disability. I mean yeah you can say what you want but in general it’s just doing more harm even though your intention is trying to help.
All good, different stages of life. I was where you were one day.
Oh my God, I'm dying. I was reading your post and I feel more than identified. I have not been medically diagnosed with ADHD, but with my behaviors I think I'm not far from going to the doctor and it will be written down in a medical report.
I like many things, I learn many things. I get excited after seeing each new thing I can do and learn more about everything. Then I leave it because I no longer find any sense in it and I feel "bored" so to speak and I find another activity. Honestly, it's exhausting, finishing or maintaining something is difficult. The only thing I really forced myself to do was finish my university degree. But haha, I don't practice my career. I learned about web design, I like to draw, I like to make clothes, I like creative stationery and everything that involves creating things with stationery. I have a lot of things at home, from each new learning and I keep putting them away, I lose track of the things I have because I am forgetful. So... The truth is that I have to make money with the things I have learned, it is the only way to help me see more positivity in my starts. Another thing is that I set goals, like saving up to buy "X" thing... or similar. That helps me. Cheer up with makeup, if something makes you happy, go for it!
Dude, exactly!!! It’s so easy to say to just enjoy your hobbies but if you don’t have any stable income and you NEED to earn from these “hobbies” then that’s where the problem comes from cos you can’t just abandon a business you’ve started and it’s going well and form another business and abandon it again. That’s where the guilt is coming from… not from having a lot of interests alone. It’s cos we need to make money out of them!! 😆 If I am privileged enough to do these “hobbies” and sustain that life forever that’s basically freedom but the world is not like that, or at least not mine atm. But how am I gonna do that if all I do is spend spend spend.
Honestly it’s so tiring to write something like this and someone with no ADHD comes and just think you’re just whining and advices you to “just do it”. I should’ve called it a business in the post from the start and not just interests to be more clear but yeah.. Better to write these things somewhere else where the audience would understand.
It's horrible. And I understand you, because it happens to me every time I change my "business." The truth is, it's not just the annoying economic problem, but also that guilt. I don't know if it happens to you, but it causes me feelings of "I'm not good at this," "I'm doing badly," "it's not my path," accompanied by a uselessness. Changing from one thing to another is not easy, because having an ideal audience through networks is achieved with time and perseverance. Something that does not characterize our ephemeral passions.
Sometimes I think what will happen to me when I get older... Because I don't know if it happens to you, because I love to overthink. People don't change, get healthy or whatever you can call it just by saying: "don't be like that..." Sometimes empathy is not always everyone's friend. And they don't see the gap where one sometimes feels.
Me as iTravelRox who has 2.4K followers on FB and 1.3K followers on Instagram but not so much on Tiktok because I am tired of updating as a mama of 2. I used to collaborate with travel-related agencies/accom/adventures. Part of me wants to create another social media account as a new mom but still too tired to do anything. I suggest you continue your Tiktok makeup as you have great potential. If I am into makeup I will create a social media account for that.