I have so much respect for fathers that don't abandon their child and made their best to be involved in their child's life. I definitely notice the difference from countless people I've met who have an absent father versus those who have a non-absent father. Sometimes, it's day an night and their grasp of responsibility are different too, I mean it's kind of obvious.
The fact that some of the potential women I can date thinks gestures of kindness are potential red flags is bizarre.
That's so true! I noticed this with my female friends too where things that I consider just kind gesture are red flags. I also recently talked about this with a friend of mine on how media also promotes chivalry as something so uncool and that it might be a red flag in a guy. While perhaps we grow with involved father, sometimes these influences from other places can shape our life and how we react to things.
This was a good TED talk!
The measure of maturity is accountability, at least in my book that's how I can leave it to other people to handle important tasks. You want to most responsible adult capable on the job and have that sense of safety net that when they fuck up, they will make amends over someone that runs away from the consequences. I believe this is a virtue both present in men and women but expressed in different forms like how love can manifest in different degrees and expression.
For me, having a responsible father figure to learn from just lets children learn how to suck it up even when it starts to hurt because there's a greater cause for abandoning their comfort zone. Just as men will have feminine traits to learn how to care, and women have masculine traits that give them more back bone, both can complement each other.
As for small red flags, I never expected pulling up the chair, opening the doors or paying for both mine and my date's meal can be a trivial struggle. I know she can open the door, pull up the chair and pay for her meal but it's not just something I want to do for the gesture because I certainly wouldn't do that for someone I don't like. It's this power struggle in relations and identity versus trying to get the love language across that social media somehow ruined it. I'm raised in a conservative family but I'm predominantly liberal, there are traits in both sides that one can pick up and enjoy a healthy living.
The TED talk thing is a mannerism I picked up from someone I've been chatting for a long time, thought it was funny so I'm stealing it as a sign off for my posts now. Thanks for stopping by Mach!