you think it will sort itself out? i gravitate to that perspective. i am not worried about the world as messed up as it is. just worried i will never find the gift to give in joy. what i came here for.
being back in my "home" country has brought up this concept mania of relentless tenacity, chasing things that are counter-life, and i am just as convinced it is the wrong way for my life as i was when i left 5 years ago.
things are surreal to me. but the vast majority of happenings here are handled almost identically to how they were handled years ago. robotcops, as someone on my journey remarked. despite all the wake up slaps humanity has endured since. it boggles the mind.
but it also weighs on me as long as i am cosmically forced to remain here. maybe in order to go through this yet again ahaha. travel has changed everything. more resonant places out there to be. it's not long now.