Life Update: Picking Up the Broken Pieces

I honestly just want to fall in love with writing again. I want to go back to the time when I didn't have to force myself to create something. Anyway...

Listen to Maki's songs, guys (and I mean this for Filipinos only)! I'm obsessed with "Dilaw" and "Saan?".


Avisala!

Where should I start? I honestly don't know how to unravel everything that happened in the first half of 2024. While I'm healing, I noted in my previous post that priorities do change. One glaring change is that my time allocated to Hive has drastically decreased. I'm still grateful to Hive for everything that happened to me in the past four years, but I have to work. If not for @worldmappin, I would have abandoned Hive altogether. There's no bad blood or anything and I have nothing against the Blockchain, but again, I have a life to live. It's a good thing I still have a reason to stay.

There's so much going on in my head that I'm mentally exhausted. I'm just grateful for the work that I have right now because it made me feel this sense of normalcy even if the tasks are so mundane. I mentioned in a lot of my posts before that I hated routine, but now, I'm embracing it. It prevents me from going haywire.

I have to apologize ahead if this post appears like jumbled words and lacks context. I still don't have the guts to talk about my trauma. I just want to slowly unpack what happened until I'm comfortable enough to share. For those who already know my story, I hope that you will give this to me. I just want to tell my own story at a pace that I'm comfortable with. Thank you so much for understanding.

While I might not be always here on Hive, I'm aware of the happenings here. It's still the same old Hive where drama is prevalent. If it becomes too quiet, you don't have to worry because there's always someone who will stir up the mud. It's always the same Hive where the single determinant of success is the price. When the price tanks, expect a lot of doom-and-gloom posts and comments. What's interesting is that the price is mainly determined by the Koreans and has nothing to do with the internal mechanisms and developments here. A lot of blame game is also thrown around and a lot to of "should haves" were also floated, but no one wants to get it done.

Decentralization, I guess.

Despite everything, I still find this place awesome. I'm now trying to filter what I want to spend my energy on. Anyway, loving the HiveFest updates from Split, Croatia. I love how we were featured in the @worldmappin presentation. At least I still have something to look forward to on this platform.

Hive has existed for almost a decade and we're still thriving. If this is just a social experiment of a bunch of nerds and introverts, then we might be running for the longest social experiment. It's one I'm happy that I participated in. There are so many things to be grateful for Hive, but we still chose to look at the price that outside factors mainly influence its fluctuation.

Expectations, I guess.

I'm one of those users who keeps on cashing out their earnings regardless of the price. We are often blamed for the tanking price. We are often branded as leeches who don't contribute to the Blockchain. We are often called out for not having loyalty. No worries, I won't refute those claims. Let me just ask you this: "If you have those earnings and you're having financial problems, would you still choose loyalty to the blockchain over your churning stomach?"

It's easy to judge by looking at the face value, but diving deeper into the issues will help you understand the different realities that hounded those who live in different parts of the world. But of course, no one can force you to recognize those realities when you were already afforded all the privileges by simply living in a first-world country.

Where am I going with this post?

Back to myself, I guess.

As with the title of this post, I'm in the process of painfully accepting what happened to me in the past months. I worked so much to pay the debts and I'm happy that I might be debt-free again this November or December. While it pays well, I sacrificed my social life because I haven't had any excursion since April except when I went to Siargao during my birthday. If I lived in Japan, I might have been a hikikomori. I'm just thankful for the few friends who forced me to go out with them. You know who you are.

In my isolation days, the only thing that keeps me going is TikTok Live. I just watch the Lives of famous TikTok influencers while I'm working and they become my companion, especially during the wee hours. At least I didn't feel like I was alone or sad. Before, I judged those who were consuming those types of content. Now, I understand those people might just be needing companions and they found those in the people at the other side of the screen. Content doesn't need to be funny or educational. It only needs to resonate with the audience. I hope we can learn a thing or two from that here on Hive.

Connection.

I never felt so isolated because I found something that resonated with me. I hope we can also have that here in Hive. Here, everything seems to be transactional, and everyone is expected to create a connection with everyone even if it means faking it. That's what I honestly felt with forcefully replying to all the comments and commenting on others' posts. It should be organic and genuine. I mean you should comment because you want to add something to the post and not because you are expected to comment.

Anyway, that's just my opinion. Hive will take its course regardless of my opinion and at the end of the day, everything is dictated by the community. We succeed or fail based on our collective actions.

I guess I'll end this post here because I already feel like I'm talking nonsense. See you in my next post! Hopefully, I'll be able to commit to posting again even if it now feels so unnatural to me.

Kim Ybañez

Welcome to Kim's small corner in Hive. He is a chemical engineer by profession but a blogger by passion. He is a wanderlust and an adventure seeker. Join his quests as he visits remote destinations, climbs mountains, tries new and exotic dishes, and explores his country (The Philippines). He's also a trying-hard photographer, so stay tuned as he shares his photos and his thought process while creating them.

If you like his content, don't forget to upvote and leave a comment to show some love. You can also reblog if you want to. Also, don't forget to follow him to be updated with his latest posts.

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Hey @ybanezkim26, we are happy that you decided to stay on Hive and lucky that you are such an important part of our team 😘👍
We wish you would be here at Hivefest with us to experience the community feeling, which is sincere connections and interest in each other as a person. - Of course, we are also Interested in the projects and collecting ideas for the community. But what keeps us doing all this is our <3 beating for the same thing. - So whatever happened to you, give it time to heal, and don´t give up hope for the better ☀️

😮 Hi Liz! Together with @detlev, thank you for keeping pinmapple alive through worldmappin. As I've said in our DMs, I feel valued here in the community and you never failed to make me feel that way.

❤️ That is great to hear @ybanezkim26!

Good to see another post my friend. Don't give up… give it time.
We miss you 😊

Hello, my friend! I miss you all, too! It's been a while.

It has been a while indeed.
Take care my friend 🤗
!HUG

I'm one of those users who keeps on cashing out their earnings regardless of the price.

Someone needs to convert that HBD from DHF to cover their project's costs. It doesn't matter if the data shows that a lot of the Hive inflation was due to HBD conversions to Hive or that DHF funding had more impact to the inflation.

Even if these projects cost the blockchain 1k HBD per day and go nuts sending the Hive to exchanges, it's still going to be those small users that cash out 200$ USD worth of Hive earned in a span of months that are at fault here because why not?

Familiar! My next question is: Is there a metric showing that those projects have significant impact to Hive? Again, it's the small users because why not? 😆

None that I know of. But we could always blame the users that cash out. The same group of users that can't even move the candles up or down on the charts if they cashed out all their earnings.

Ako po ay iskolar ng Hive. Need mag cashout lagi kasi di pa maka work. 😂 If the blame is on someone like me or us, I'll take that on my side. Sige lang, babawiin na lang pag naka work. For now, I'm poverty. I badly need the money kaya deadma sa bashers. 😅🤭

Mishhuuu, Kim! Sana magkita ulit tayo sa next meetup.

Hello, ayane! Next meet up sa Bacolod naman. HAHA

Awwww Kim….
Miss you po!
I feel you.. I agree on many things here too. Who says you’re not loyal because I think you are. And yes to a life to live.
I hope you’ll heal sooner.. And few more months and you’ll be debt free! That’s something to celebrate!

Miss you witty! Thank you for the gifts. Your sunscreen is giving. 😆

I'm okay now and I hope I can travel more soon. Travel is the therapy I need.

Travel to Japan because why not! Meetup in Japan 😅

 2 months ago  

It’s good to see you are around, I remember your post last time of he challenges you are going through on a bunch of levels.

I dislike the cashing out of all the rewards but do know many do it. I disagree with the practice but that’s my opinion.

Congratulations @ybanezkim26! You received a personal badge!

Happy Hive Birthday! You are on the Hive blockchain for 7 years!

You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking

Hii! If you ever want someone to talk to, you know where to find me on insta :)

Hi! You don't know how much I appreciate our deep talks in the middle of nowhere. 😀 Thank you so much! I know I found a true friend in the other side of the world. It's been a while! 😆