At least, you are learning from that.
There are so many things that could go wrong in patient care. From the floor to the lab and everything in between. I can empathize your frustration and that feeling of guilt as I've had experiences like that in the lab.
Understanding where things could go wrong, even with competent staff, was one of the reasons I was very worried when my kid was in NICU years back. I was literally running every possible scenario in my mind.
I have to...or else more people will suffer
So true...I was just telling @gentleshaid about the case of blood transfusion going wrong.
I can't imagine what that must be like. I once took took care of a consultant radiologist son here in Pediatrics. It was a case of complicated malaria. He was like a house officer for his own son. Doing everything he could to make sure the best outcome would be realised.