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Puppy Love
Marley is my one-year-old puppy, or thereabouts. He was rescued from the street by @lisamariesworld and @thatscooterguy a few months ago here in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. β€οΈ As synchronicity goes, I'd already met and played with Marley on the beach a few months previously. He had been with a Mexican couple, but probably he was already homeless, as I recall him looking pretty scraggy. When I was reintroduced to him at yoga one morning, he had just been taken in. This is how he looked then. Have you ever seen anything so adorable?????
Given that I don't know his history, he may have passed through many hands in his short life (he's about a one year old) and given also that he became very close to his rescuers and their 2 dogs (so a full pack!), it was understandable that separation was going to be an issue for this beautiful little dog. β€οΈ
So, fast forward to now, and Marley now lives with me and my cat Rosie, and he's really settled in well. However, like all life changes, there are always hiccups, and Marley's separation anxiety, coupled with his propensity to not always come when called, have been the major hiccups. This post is about our journey to solving these problems.
When I asked myself for a title for this post, I heard the song "And They Call it Puppy Love". And that's perfect, because who could not love this beautiful soul pictured below -? β€οΈ
Who is the Leader of the Pack? I am!
I didn't instinctively know how to handle this situation - to be honest. All the dogs I'd ever had before either lived on farms or had large gardens to roam in. Being in a small space is not natural to a dog, nor is being separated from the pack, and so it was my behaviour that needed to change to help him feel secure enough to stay alone for longer than 45 minutes at a time.
Also, there are times when you don't want the dog to follow you or they can't. I knew that dogs are pack animals and that they follow you everywhere. On a farm, this is fine, because the dogs (and cats) are out exercising and playing all day, they spend time with you outside - and in the evenings of course, but they also spend a lot of time with the dog "pack".
When there are no other dogs, a dog will naturally want to follow you and he might get anxious if he can't. As the pack leader, I have to show him it's good and fun to enjoy time alone.
Cesar Millan and Dealing with Seperation Anxiety
So, to help me with this situation I had turned to Cesar Milan's YouTube videos on dealing with separation anxiety in dogs for guidance. He explained that we have to make what is unnatural to a dog, feel natural to it and showed the use of the calm spot. He emphasizes that it is best to move the spot (in Marley's case - the rug) around the place, so that he identifies the rug with good and secure feelings and not the location. I also have plans to travel again in the not too distant future and know that moving with animals needs to be prepared for to prevent unnecessary anxiety. Rosie is a good traveller and Marley will be too :-) A lot of it is being clear in intention and frequency that we hold while communicating. And a part of this is getting Marley to come when called. Again, Cesar Milan videos really help. We play games with movement between the rug and various locations outside, so that he instinctively comes when called. Of course, treats (actually just bits of kibble - great low-maintenance dog!) are involved!
Marley's Calm Spot
This is where he is groomed, where he is played with gently and calmly, where he receives treats, where his toys are, and where he knows it is safe, always calm, and peaceful. By encouraging him to spend calm time alone in his happy peaceful spot, being separated from me is getting easier.
It also gives Rosie the cat (pictured below) a bit of breathing space, so that she can enjoy her own calm spot too! Rosie went on protest a couple of weeks ago, going AWOL for 3 days, and eventually turning up on the below neighbour's balcony - trapped and crying like crazy, because the apartment below is also the home to a big, slightly aggressive dog.
Living with animals in small spaces is an art, with lots to learn and unlearn. π
I reflected that I myself had become somewhat anxious, since Marley would often run out of the door and would never come back when called. It wasn't so much the disobedience that I was concerned with, but with the consequences of it. Once, he almost knocked over a Mexican neighbour who was coming down the stairs on crutches. Plus, a couple of times Marley's escape artist tendencies have been mentioned by some of my neighbours. They aren't mean about it, but he's known as "a bit of a scamp". He's a little sometimes disobedient puppy, basically. Totally normal.
But, my apartment is quite dark and I really needed to have the door open so that I got sufficient natural light while I'm working online. And I needed Marley to come back when called, and not to dash upstairs (or downstairs) on a whim.
Firm, but Fair and Everything is a Game!
So, I'm learning to be firm with Marley, which is hard because he gives you the cutest puppy "butter-wouldn't melt" eyes and just wants to play. He is rewarded when he comes if called AND he is given time out on the rug as a REWARD, with treats or play-time, grooming or something else he loves. And I'm careful that I - myself - don't fall into anxiety. I'm confident in my intention that he will follow.
Success!!
90% of the time now, Marley does not run off, which is a great relief to everyone. Here he is sitting calmly at the door β€οΈ
And here are both Marley AND Rosie sitting peacefully at the door!β€οΈ
Happy Family :-)
If you have any other tips for helping to deal with separation anxiety, please let me know in the comments!
Much love,
Marley and Me (and Rosie!) xxx
All photos are my own
aww @marleyandme that made me cry (of course). Reading about him and seeing his photos. Such great progress you have all made, well done. Really good to hear.
Lots of love, miss you all π
A-Purrrrov-ed.π½ And reshared!
Thank you :-) πΆ